You call him at home to find out how he's doing and all you can hear in the background is laughter, children's laughter. The kind you'd expect from a gaggle of gigglers revelling in the warmth of an August afternoon at their grandparents' farm.
"Sorry for the noise," Terry Evanshen says. "Lorraine and I get the five grandkids a lot and we enjoy it. It's good for us. It helps us carry on."
Carrying on has not been so easy for Terry and Lorraine Evanshen. First, there was the 1988 car crash that almost killed the Canadian Football League Hall of Fame member who made a career out of being rugged, skilled and unstoppable. The crash was so severe and Evanshen so injured that a priest was called in to perform last rites. While he regained consciousness and eventually recovered from his physical injuries, Evanshen was left without a memory.
He didn't know his wife, his kids and that he had played professional football and had caught 600 passes for 80 touchdowns with four different teams. At age 44, he had to learn how to do things all over again -- walk, eat, shave and drive.
It was a painful, frustrating period. Evanshen's daughters took him places and introduced him to people he'd known for years. Often, he would smile and say to those people, "My daughter tells me you're a friend."
Then, just as his life had found a comfortable routine, anguish made a comeback. In 1998, daughter Jennifer Evanshen was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour. Within 30 days she was blind. For three years, she struggled and fought as her father had a decade before, until she died on Oct. 26, 2001. She was 24.
And now there is the CTV movie based on Evanshen's life, a movie that once again bares Evanshen's hurt for all to see. Entitled The Man Who Lost Himself (from the bestselling book by June Callwood), the movie will be shown in mid-November in the heart of the CFL playoffs, a time when Evanshen used to shine.
Watching the movie being made was one thing, Evanshen said, "really surreal." But seeing the editor's cut proved far more emotional.
"When I saw it on film, I broke down three or four times," Evanshen said. "So did the executive producer. People will be sad and they will cry, but it's not a football movie at all. It's about love and how that kept a family together. It's a tragedy and about how you don't run away from life. I couldn't be happier about the work people have done on this film. This film is going to be talked about."
David James Elliott, who starred in the CBS television series JAG, plays Evanshen in the movie, which is a stretch of literal proportions. Elliott, who was born in Milton, Ont., is 6 foot 4 and weighs more than 200 pounds. In his playing days, Evanshen was 5 foot 10 and 170 pounds.
"When I mentioned that to the executive producer, I was told they were going to shoot around it," Evanshen recalled with a laugh. "I told them I used to be 6 foot 4 until they [rival tacklers]pushed me down."
You ask him how Lorraine is doing and he tells you a story that best captures the Evanshen spirit.
When their daughter Jennifer died, the Evanshens were heartbroken. All that intelligence, all that potential, gone and unfulfilled. But not once did Terry Evanshen point to the heavens and scream "Why her? Why us?" As for Lorraine Evanshen, she decided to make the best of what had befallen her family. She became a volunteer at the Lakeridge Hospital in Oshawa, Ont. Her work? Helping patients and family members deal with cancer.
"She has a way with people," Evanshen said. "She can get to them. Me, I never did. Things happen in life that you have no control over. Jennifer was a wonderful daughter. She was beautiful physically and on the inside, too. She had a warm heart. It was the most difficult thing. I would have given up my life for hers, but there was nothing I could do."
Except carry on. And in that regard he is doing well. Now 61, Evanshen continues to give motivational speeches across the country so that others can learn from his perseverance.
He helps raise money for charities, visits with friends and revels in the warmth of his children's children.
All things considered, it is a good life, he says.
The words stick in your mind as you hang up the phone, amazed. Inspired.
Evanshen's career
Seasons: 14 (1965-1978).
Teams: Montreal, Calgary, Hamilton and Toronto.
Games played: 198.
Receptions: 600.
Yards: 9,670.
Touchdowns: 80.
Awards: CFL all-star (1967), most outstanding Canadian (1967, 1971).