"If I even tried to explain it, it would just sound stupid." In the wacky caper film Stegman is Dead, a hitman doesn't even bother outlining an outlandish scheme. I'm with him.
The film's plot is unconvincing and complicated, involving blackmail, bungling, backstabbing and, naturally, octopus pornography. The less said, the better.
The Canadian-made feature from first-timer David Hyde is bad Elmore Leonard – full of flashbacks, clunky narration and bad reveals. The good news is the film doesn't take itself seriously at all, which allows for some level of enjoyment (rather than contempt) when it comes to sitting through its fast-moving 84 minutes.
Michael Ironside plays the bad-guy ringleader. He can play these type of characters in his sleep; here's hoping somebody woke him up after the filming was done. On the other hand, Michael Eklund is likable as an anti-hero burglar with a nagging wife and an adorable little daughter. His character is long-suffering and his acting makes this modest film worth suffering through.