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Kevin Heffernan, Jay Chandrasekhar, Erik Stolhanske, Paul Soter and Steve Lemme in Super Troopers 2.

Jon Pack/Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

rating

0 out of 4 stars
  • Super Troopers 2
  • Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar
  • Written by Broken Lizard
  • Starring Jay Chandrasekhar and Kevin Heffernan
  • Classification 14A
  • 100 minutes
  • Opening April 20

The monkeys in the typing room still haven’t produced their novel, but they’ve apparently come up with a film script while we wait. The result isn’t worthy of being shot with a rectal scope.

Coming soon to a screen in hell’s multiplex is Super Troopers 2, a sequel that sets back Canadian-American relations to an 1812 level and retroactively awards an Oscar to Porky’s II and a Pulitzer citation to 1995’s Canadian Bacon.

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The crime-farce comedy brings back the wacky Vermont lawmen of the 2001 stoner cult-classic original. Here, they mess with a trio of Mounties and other cardboard Canadian characters including Guy Le Franc, a cheesy border-town mayor and former hockey player played by Rob Lowe.

The low-jinks have to do with “passive smuggling” and a plan to annex part of Quebec, with dumb wisecracks and insults about shaved testicles and the metric system ensuing relentlessly. Who knew “caulk” was such a fun thing to say? (My 12-year-old nephew, that’s who.)

Awash with cartoonish visions of Canada and an assaultive level of immaturity, Super Troopers 2 needs to be turned away at the border.

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