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A weekly guide to the wattage of celebrities in the news

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QUEEN LATIFAH: 40 WATTS When Dolly Parton is getting all up in your face and jokes are being made about plastic surgery and fake hair, then we’ve all reached a very dark place. No one in Joyful Noise, opening Friday, appears to be emerging from the film as a winner, and certainly not Queen Latifah. Is this really the only option for the 41-year-old actress? Sadly, it appears so. Over the past five years she’s starred in an unending series of mediocre flicks, and this just adds to the big pile of "meh."

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RICKY GERVAIS: 60 WATTS No one has talked more about how Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes last year than Ricky Gervais. It’s almost as if explaining that evening has become his full-time job. And now comes all the hype of his return to the show on Sunday. Viewers will either love it or hate it, which is more than can be said of most award shows. But it seems like no one’s going to love it more than Gervais himself. That might make things very entertaining. It might make them unbearably smug.

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BEYONCÉ AND JAY-Z: 80 WATTS In the high-pressure world of celebrity super babies, no offspring of the rich and famous can be spoiled too much. That’s just a fact. But Beyoncé and Jay-Z have upped the ante. Their little girl, Blue Ivy Carter, born on Jan. 7, reportedly has a crib costing almost $20,000 that looks like a fairy-tale carriage, and a solid gold rocking horse that costs $600,000. Economic hardship? Frugality? These things mean nothing to celebrity super babies.

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