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Peter Cheney explores why we buy Corvettes, Porsche Turbos and giant SUVs. For the full story, click on the "Why office workers need huge pickup trucks" link below.

The Motorized Road Luge - It won't pass a crash test, there's no roof, and the exhaust pipe hangs out the side like a long, red-hot branding iron. But you have an automotive vision. No one else will share it. (Caterham R300)


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The Italian Supermodel - if a Victoria's Secret model was reincarnated as a car, this is what she'd be. You wouldn't look right with her, either. (Ferrari 458)

AP Photo/Michael Probst

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The Quant-King Horsepower Dominator - When you were a little kid, you played King of the Hill. Now you're grown up so you're raiding pensions instead. Your wife is a trophy. And you need the fastest car in the world. The tires cost more than a Toyota Corolla, and there are no roads where you can use the full 1000 horsepower. So it all makes perfect sense. (Bugatti Veyron)

AP Photo/Francois Mori

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The Giant Pickup - You work in an office cubicle. Your weight is up, and your hair is gone. You don't transport heifers, lumber or oil rig components. But you figure that buying one of these will make you look like you do. It won't. (2011 Dodge Ram Laramie 3500 Longhorn)


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The Ancient British Saloon - There is a very special ambience to an old British saloon car. There is also a very special ambience to a 15th century British castle with a moat, 250 rooms, and stables. The car and the estate both feature sparking electrics, extensive water leaks, and crumbling framework. Which one you buy depends on whether you prefer your money pit to be fixed or mobile. (1950 Rolls-Royce)

AP Photo/Dominic Lipinski

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The Penis Extender -Many automotive observers believe that there is an inverse relationship between car and penis size. Not true. The Corvette isn't very big. (2012 Chevrolet Centennial Edition Corvette Z06)

General Motors

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The Detroit Tire Disposal Machine - You may look like an insurance actuary, but you are business in the front, party in the back. You need a 550 horsepower V8 and rear wheel drive for those long, smoking burnouts. (Can I get a "hell yeah") You were supposed to get this out of your system before you turned 25. (2011 Ford Mustang GT500)


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The Autobahn Burner - In your mind's eye, you picture yourself in the fast lane of the autobahn, overpowering all before you with your legendary German juggernaut. The speedometer needle is hard over to the right, and you are riding a tsunami of power. Too bad you live in downtown Toronto. (Porsche Turbo)


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The Tiny Terror - You are a connoisseur of racecar engineering who insists that every unnecessary gram be pared away to make a perfect machine. Climbing in and out of those tiny doors makes you look like a burglar worming through a basement window, and you?re sitting too low to use a drive-through. You're willing to sacrifice for automotive art, but passengers won't be. (Lotus Exige)

Peter Cheney/The Globe and Mail

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The British Speed Sled - There is a special quality to the high performance British car. It feels like a solid piece of steel, and the interior is a compact, leather-lined cocoon. James Bond drives one. But he gets his for free. And you're not as cool as him. (Aston Martin DBS)

Aston Martin

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