I'm going to make a sex tape.
Why not? It worked for Kim Kardashian, poor little rich girl. Sure, she was born into wealth as the daughter of O.J. Simpson attorney Robert Kardashian, but it was her raunchy recorded romp with rapper Ray J in 2007 that thrust the sultry socialite into the pop culture limelight.
Keeping Up With The Kardashians, TV and movie roles, a Playboy spread, modeling and endorsement jobs, her own perfume, an autobiography and much, much more – all this followed Kim's carnal caper. Hers is a reported $35-million empire.
And, of course, the brunette bombshell was front and centre recently with her much publicized über expensive $10-million wedding to NBA star Kris Humphries and subsequent breakup after only 72 days.
So what's she got that I don't have? I mean, besides the obvious.
For starters, there are her cars. I drive a Matrix and a minivan. Kimmie's collection is somewhat more exotic – the automotive aficionado recently plopped down $325,000 for a white Ferrari 458 Italia, according to celebrity gossip web site TMZ.
This came was on the heels of a customized Rolls Royce Ghost purchase – the base model starts at $255,000 – that she added to her garage.
Add to that her "super-charged" $115,000 Range Rover.
To complete the collection, topspeed.com revealed in 2009 that the reigning queen of custom cars also owned a pair of Bentleys, a white four-door Flying Spur, a drop top Continental GTC, a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder and a silver Ferrari F430.
Let's not overlook the armada of white chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce Phantoms and Maybachs she obtained to shuttle guests to her wedding farce.
Just the thought of that makes me misty. But I've always been a sucker for weddings.
"I love cars. I'm like a guy that way," Kardashian told contactmusic.com recently. "I feel like, once a year, Christmas, birthday, I can treat myself. I work really hard, so why not get something nice?"
Exactly. If I have to get nude and rude as a means to upgrade my ride, so be it. Just watch me.