Stars and Dogs for the week of June 7

Learn to drive a front-end loader in three easy steps: Step #1: Develop unsightly beer belly; Step #2: Resist urge to shave; Step #3: Practise shouting at passing women. Here's a better idea: Invest in Caterpillar and let someone else drive the front-end loader. Shares of the heavy equipment maker surged after the company raised its dividend. Hey baby, nice stock!

Whether you enjoy eating canned peaches and pears or sneaking a handful of Kibbles 'n Bits when no one is looking (try the Homestyle Beef), Del Monte has a snack for you. Shares of the company, which also makes Meow Mix and 9Lives cat foods, started purring after Del Monte raised its dividend by 80 per cent and announced a $350-million share buyback.

Hooker Furniture? Is that, like, something you sit on at a brothel? No, it's a company based in Martinsville, Va., that's one of the largest U.S. furniture importers and producers. Unfortunately, the stock could use an reupholstery job: The shares had their biggest tumble in a year after first-quarter profit came in well below analyst estimates.

Gas: 1) What you get after eating at Taco Bell; 2) the stuff you use to burn food beyond recognition on your barbecue; 3) the reason shares of Storm Exploration soared this week. ARC Energy Trust agreed to buy the natural gas exploration and production company in a $680-million deal that sent Storm's shares up 19 per cent. What a gas.

The next time you're sitting in the loo reading a copy of Canadian Living or The Hockey News, remember that you're not just answering the call of nature, you're helping shareholders of Transcontinental . The printer and publisher of magazines, newspaper and books posted an 18-per-cent gain in adjusted operating income, giving shareholders some good news to read.