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The Globe's stars and dogs for the week: Apple investors dance to the beat

A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week.

STAR: Hillshire Brands

Food quiz!

Which of the following wholesome ingredients is found in Original Ball Park Franks?
a) mechanically separated turkey
b) corn syrup
c) potassium lactate
d) sodium nitrite.

Answer: all of the above.

If you want something more appetizing, check out shares of Hillshire Brands. The maker of Ball Park, Jimmy Dean and other brands of meat got all plump and juicy after Tyson Foods tabled a $6.1-billion bid, topping a $5.5-billion offer from Pilgrim’s Pride.

HSH (NYSE), $53.28 (U.S.)
up $16.26 or 43.9% over week

STAR: Maple Leaf Foods

Gather ‘round and you’ll hear something neat
‘Bout a business that makes lots of meat
With Hillshire in play
Some analysts say
Maple Leaf sure would make a nice treat.

MFI (TSX), $18.71
up $1.54 or 9% over week

DOG: Tilly's

Teen apparel retailer Tilly’s (not to be confused with travel clothing company Tilley) sells T-shirts bearing slogans such as "just chill”, “no problem” and “party all night sleep all day”. But shareholders are having trouble chillin’ after the stock got ripped to shreds: hurt by a sluggish retail market and heavy discounting, same-store sales tumbled 6.8 per cent in the first quarter and the company sees more weakness ahead.
Investors are shopping at Goodwill.

TLYS (NYSE), $8.79 (U.S.)
down $1.72 or 16.4% over week.

STAR: BlackBerry

“We have a lot of problems, but it’s not dead,” BlackBerry chief John Chen said.
Now, there’s a ringing endorsement for you. Apparently, it doesn’t take much to get BlackBerry investors excited these days: With Mr. Chen raising the odds of the company’s survival to 80-20 from 50-50 previously, the stock posted its biggest one-day jump since February.
“I am quite confident that we’ll be able to save the patient,” he added. Investors are praying for a medical miracle.

BB (TSX), $8.27
up 40 cents or 5.1% over week.

STAR: Apple

How to get robbed on the subway:
1) Put $800 iPhone in shirt pocket
2) Connect to $400 pair of Beats by Dr. Dre headphones
3) Drink heavily and pass out on the way home.
Or, you could have bought Apple stock and taken a taxi home with your profits. Lifted by news that the tech giant is buying high-end headphone and streaming music company Beats for $3-billion, Apple’s shares surged to a 20-month high.

AAPL (NASDAQ), $633.00 (U.S.)
up $18.87 or 3.1% over week.

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