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A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce (STAR)

CIBC: Canadian Imperial Bank of … Cha-ching! Shares of Canada’s fifth-largest bank surged after CIBC’s quarterly adjusted net income of $1.24-billion or $2.71 a share crushed the average analyst estimate of $2.13, easing worries about the coronavirus pandemic’s impact on its business. With CIBC’s loan-loss provisions rising less than expected, its trading division posting strong results and its capital levels strengthening during the quarter – a pattern seen at other big banks – CIBC investors are richer than they think. Sorry, wrong bank.

CM - TSX

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Westshore Terminals (DOG)

Coal. It’s what naughty children get in their Christmas stockings. It’s also why Westshore Terminals’ stock plunged this week. Teck Resources has negotiated a new coking coal shipping contract starting in 2021 that calls for a roughly 68-per-cent reduction in annual volumes to be handled by Westshore’s B.C. export terminal. Mining Journal cited a “widening rift” between the two companies, with Teck accusing Westshore of charging too much. Merry Christmas, Westshore investors.

WTE - TSX

Salesforce (STAR)

Business quiz! Which of the following statements about Salesforce is false? a) On Monday, the provider of cloud-based customer relationship management software was one of the three companies added to the Dow Jones Industrial Average, effective Aug. 31 b) On Wednesday, Salesforce’s shares soared 26 per cent after it topped second-quarter earnings estimates and raised its full-year forecast, buoyed by the work-from-home trend; c) On Friday, Salesforce acquired TikTok for US$30-billion and vowed to “show the world some sick dance moves.” Answer: c.

CRM - NYSE

Dick’s Sporting Goods (STAR)

The coronavirus may have wreaked havoc on some retailers, but Dick’s Sporting Goods isn’t complaining. With more Americans buying athletic shoes, fitness apparel, weights, hiking gear and other products to help them stay in shape during the pandemic, Dick’s said sales rocketed 20.1 per cent for the quarter ended Aug. 1 – powered by a 194-per-cent increase in e-commerce revenues. The stock’s looking ripped.

DKS - NYSE

J.M. Smucker (STAR)

Who wants jam? A lot of people, apparently. With more consumers eating at home during the pandemic, J.M. Smucker – whose products include Smucker’s jam, Jif peanut butter, Folger’s coffee and Robin Hood flour – said sales shot up 11 per cent in the quarter ended July 31 as earnings blew past expectations, sending the stock higher. Investors are grabbing a spoon and enjoying another mouthful of jam.

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SJM - NYSE

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