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stars and dogs

Beachbody Co. (STAR)


Tired of getting sand kicked in your face at the beach? Here’s an idea: Don’t go to the beach. Or join Beachbody and transform your 98-pound-weakling frame into a chiselled mass of muscle that will make the bullies run away in fear. Shares of Beachbody were looking buff after David Einhorn’s Greenlight Capital disclosed a new stake in the fitness company, which provides online workout classes and nutrition products to people who want to get ripped and build confidence. “Yo, I’ll bury you in the sand, scumbag. I hope you like getting eaten by seagulls.”

Canadian dollar (DOG)

D6*1 (TSX)

Meet the Delta variant’s latest victim: the Canadian dollar. With COVID-19 cases spreading quickly among the unvaccinated and commodities such as oil, copper and lumber falling from recent highs, the loonie has tumbled about five full cents from its peak of 83.3 US cents in early June. Now that investors have driven up the price of the safe-haven U.S. dollar amid growing economic uncertainty, that road trip you’re planning south of the border just got more expensive. Not to worry. The U.S. just extended its land border closing for non-essential travel until at least Sept. 21.

Red Robin Gourmet Burgers (DOG)

RRGB - Nasdaq

Business quiz! Shares of Red Robin Gourmet Burgers sank after the U.S. restaurant chain: a) was targeted by a short-seller who alleged that the “chicken wings” served at its restaurants are actually robin wings; b) was sued by a customer who claimed that he suffered severe emotional trauma after eating a fiery hot Scorpion Gourmet Burger; c) posted a second-quarter loss and lower-than-expected revenue, citing pandemic-related restrictions and “challenging labour availability” that resulted in reduced operating hours at some locations. Answer: c. (STAR)

MNDY - Nasdaq

Most people don’t like Mondays, but the stock market sure loves The cloud-based project-management software company – whose user-friendly platform can be customized for different applications – said revenue jumped 94 per cent to US$70.6-million in the second quarter as more customers signed up and existing clients spent more money. With shares of the Tel Aviv-based company more than doubling since its initial public offering in June, investors have been enjoying every day of the week.

Lowe’s (STAR)


Wait. The company is named Lowe’s, but the stock is near record … highs? How crazy is that? Having gotten a sales boost during the pandemic from folks doing painting, gardening and other odd jobs around the house, home-improvement chain Lowe’s is now seeing a rush of contractors tackling bigger renovation and building projects. The shares jumped after the company reported a 21-per-cent increase in second-quarter sales to “pro customers” and hiked its full-year guidance, even as same-store sales overall slipped 1.6 per cent. Investors are painting dollar signs on their walls.

A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

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