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A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

Terminix Global Holdings (STAR)

TMX – NYSE

Don’t you hate it when you buy a house and discover a family of raccoons living in the walls, and then they all die and you have to move out until the putrid smell subsides? Next time, call Terminix. Shares of the pest-control company – which also eliminates termites, bedbugs, cockroaches and assorted rodents – rose after Bank of America hiked its rating on the stock to “buy” from “underperform,” saying it was undervalued after a recent drop. Owning this stock sure beats that scratching sound coming from inside your wall.

Lululemon Athletica (STAR)

LULU – Nasdaq

If I had a time machine, the first thing I would do is go back to 2007 and invest $100,000 in Lululemon’s IPO. Then I would come back to 2021 and retire in luxury because I would have more than $3-million. Sound far-fetched? Well, even if my time machine only went back a few days I would still have made a quick 10 per cent, which is how much Lululemon jumped on Thursday after the athletic apparel company blew past second-quarter revenue and earnings estimates and raised its full-year guidance. Next week: using a time machine to make money on Amazon.com.

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CS Disco (STAR)

LAW – NYSE

With a name like CS Disco, you might think the company makes mirrored balls or sequin jumpsuits. Nope. CS Disco – which began life as law firm Camara & Sibley – specializes in “e-discovery” software that lawyers use to collect and exchange electronic data such as e-mails, instant messages and social-media posts to be used as evidence in court. With more law firms embracing legal tech, CS Disco’s shares put on their boogie shoes when the company went public in July and they’ve been dancing ever since.

Boston Beer (DOG)

SAM – NYSE

Sales of hard seltzer have suddenly gone, well, soft. And that’s bad for Boston Beer. Just weeks after announcing weaker-then-expected quarterly results and cutting its guidance amid slowing demand for its Truly seltzer brand, the company withdrew its full-year financial forecast and said it “expects to incur hard seltzer-related inventory write-offs, shortfall fees payable to third-party brewers and other costs.” Shareholders of Boston Beer, which also makes brands including Samuel Adams and Twisted Tea, could use a stiff drink after watching the stock tank by more than 50 per cent from its April high.

Facedrive (DOG)

FD – TSXV

Well, nobody saw this coming. Shares of Facedrive – a money-losing tech startup whose scattered businesses range from ride-sharing and food delivery to e-commerce and contact tracing – extended their epic plunge amid reports that insiders, including the new chief executive, have been selling shares. If that didn’t rattle investors enough, a co-founder and former president of the company alleged that a lawyer for Facedrive contacted his own lawyer “about his availability … for an initial hearing in a liquidating proceeding” under the Companies’ Creditors Arrangement Act, although no decision on a CCAA filing has been made. This is why you don’t invest in unproven startups, kids.

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