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stars and dogs

A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

Netflix (DOG)

NFLX - Nasdaq

Remember the Netflix series House of Cards? Turns out the real house of cards was the company’s stock price. Shares of the streaming giant extended their steep descent, plunging by more than a third after the company stunned Wall Street by losing 200,000 customers in the first quarter – its first drop in subscribers since 2011. Faced with an onslaught of competitors and growing cancellations from pandemic-weary consumers who are spending less time at home, Netflix plans to launch a cheaper, ad-supported service and crack down on rampant password sharing. But with the stock down about 70 per cent since November, the market clearly thinks Netflix’s best days are over.

Sleep Number (DOG)

SNBR - Nasdaq

Does sleeping on a pile of straw give you back pain? Do you often wake up tired, and with a straw pattern on your face? It’s time to upgrade to a “smart bed” from Sleep Number. With features such as auto-adjusting firmness, temperature control and an app that calculates your “sleep IQ score,” these beds will have you “hitting the hay” like you’ve never done before. You might even find a good deal at Sleep Number after its first-quarter sales fell 7 per cent and earnings missed estimates, causing the stock to tumble. So order your Sleep Number bed today and say goodbye to “straw face.”

Cineplex (STAR/DOG)

CGX - TSX

In the old days, before streaming services and COVID-19 came along, people would gather in a “theatre” to eat popcorn and watch a “movie” on a big screen. Ring a bell? The folks at Cineplex sure hope so. After struggling for two years with theatre closings, capacity restrictions and delayed film releases, the chain announced that all 172 of its movie and entertainment venues across Canada are fully open for the first time since the pandemic started in March, 2020. With people heading back to the movies, investors are cautiously heading back to Cineplex’s stock.

Shopify (DOG)

SHOP - TSX

At this rate, maybe Shopify won’t have to split its stock after all. Extending a skid that has erased more than 70 per cent of the company’s market value since November, Shopify’s shares tumbled after dreadful results from Netflix triggered an exodus from already-battered technology stocks. Adding to investors’ worries, Amazon.com took direct aim at Shopify with a new “Buy With Prime” service that lets customers shop directly on merchants’ websites. Shopify plans to split its stock 10-for-one to “make share ownership more accessible to all investors,” but the market seems to be accomplishing that objective all by itself.

Xerox Holdings (DOG)

XRX - Nasdaq

Fun fact: If you’d invested US$1,000 in Xerox in 1999 and reinvested all your dividends, today – 23 years later – you’d be sitting on about US$144. Not exactly Amazon.com-like returns. Xerox shareholders were subjected to more punishment this week when the company – which makes printers, scanners and business software – swung to an adjusted first-quarter loss of 38 US cents a share as revenue fell 2.5 per cent to US$1.67-billion, reflecting inflationary pressures and higher costs from supply chain disruptions. Who knew “makin’ copies” would be such a bad investment?

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