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stars and dogs

Restaurant Brands International Inc. (STAR)

QSR – TSX

Words any self-respecting person should never say: “I’ll have a Biebs Brew and a box of Timbiebs, please.” As cringeworthy as Tim Hortons’ “collabs” with Justin Bieber are, they seem to be working. Helped by new menu items, including the pop star’s signature products, the chain’s Canadian same-store sales leaped 14 per cent in the second quarter, as price increases and the lifting of pandemic restrictions also boosted revenues. With Tims’ sales now eclipsing prepandemic levels and Burger King and Popeyes also posting higher sales, investors have suddenly become fans of Restaurant Brands International Inc. Or is that Restaurant Biebs?

Maple Leaf Foods (DOG)

MFI – TSX

You didn’t have to read Maple Leaf Foods Inc.’s entire earnings release to know the news wasn’t good. You just had to glance at chief executive Michael McCain’s first quote: “This chaotic and unpredictable operating environment is unprecedented in my 40-year career in the food industry.” Shares of Canada’s largest meat producer tumbled after it swung to a second-quarter loss of $54.6-million, or 44 cents a share, hit by inflation, labour shortages, volatile agricultural markets and a double-digit decline in sales of plant-based protein products. With the shares down about 28 per cent in the past six months, investors are getting slaughtered.

Uber Technologies (STAR)

UBER – NYSE

Business quiz! Shares of Uber Technologies Inc. jumped after the ride-hailing and food-delivery company a) launched a low-cost, zero-emissions service called Uber Skuder, in which passengers ride on the back of a kick scooter powered by an Uber driver; b) received a US$50-billion takeover proposal from Elon Musk, who abruptly withdrew the offer the next day, saying he needed proof Uber’s passengers are real; c) reported second-quarter revenue that more than doubled year-over-year to US$8.07-billion, topping analysts’ expectations, thanks to resilient demand from consumers even as inflation hit a 40-year high. Answer: c

Sealed Air (DOG)

SEE – NYSE

Exciting: Popping sheets of Bubble Wrap. Depressing: Investing in Bubble Wrap’s maker, Sealed Air Corp. Shares of the company – which also makes food packaging and automatic bagging equipment – sank after second-quarter earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization missed analysts’ estimates. With supply disruptions, rising labour costs and lower sales volumes hurting the company’s results amid a slowdown in e-commerce, investors’ money is going “pop.”

Molson Coors Brewing (DOG)

TAP – NYSE

“Wha’s my favrit beer? Tha’s easy: Molson Golson. But it’s getting hard to find, ‘cause everybody’s drinkin’ liquor and hard seltzer and – hic – fancy craft beers. Maybe tha’s why Molson Coors’ sales fell 0.6 per cent in the second quarter and earnings dropped 88 per cent. Plus, inflation is making everything more expensive, like raw materials and stuff. If I was president of Molson Coors, you know what I would do? Launch a big ad campaign for Molson Golson and make me the star. Problem – hic – solved.”

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