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stars and dogs

Restaurant Brands International (STAR)


“I’ll have a double-double and a large pizza with chocolate doughnut sprinkles, please.” Now that former Domino’s Pizza chief executive Patrick Doyle has taken the reins as executive chair at Restaurant Brands International, the menu possibilities are endless. Shares of the parent company of Tim Hortons, Burger King and Popeyes surged on the appointment of Mr. Doyle, who oversaw huge growth in sales, profitability and shareholder returns for Domino’s from 2010 to 2018. Evidently, investors are hoping he can work the same magic at Restaurant Brands. Pat, I have some other ideas if you are interested.

Target (DOG)


It’s beginning to look a lot like a lousy Christmas for Target – and a great Christmas for criminals. Shares of the retailer sank after it posted a 49-per-cent drop in third-quarter earnings, which were hurt by markdowns to clear excess inventory, and warned that it expects a “low-single digit decline” in same-store sales during the holiday quarter. Adding to Target’s woes, the company has seen a 50-per-cent increase in shoplifting this year, with most of the US$400-million in lost gross profit attributable to organized retail theft rings. Santa is taking names, people.

Metro (STAR)


Tips for fighting back against high grocery prices: 1) Eat dinner only on birthdays, anniversaries and statutory holidays; 2) Learn how to make realistic-looking coupons on your computer – for example: “Buy one Delissio rising-crust pizza at 50 per cent off, get seven free”; 3) Invest in a major grocery chain such as Metro. Shares of the Montreal-based parent of Metro, Food Basics and other banners rose after it reported same-store sales growth of 8 per cent in its fiscal fourth quarter, boosted by inflation, and posted a 9.4-per-cent increase in adjusted earnings to $219.4-million. Metro’s shareholders are definitely not going hungry.

Algonquin Power & Utilities (DOG)


There once was a stock called Algonquin

Which was more a “lose-lose” than a “win-win”

As the shares kept on tumbling

You could hear people grumbling

That the divvy looked set for the sin bin.

Stelco Holdings (STAR)


Business quiz! Hamilton is: a) a place where people move when they can’t afford a $1.5-million teardown in Toronto; b) the birthplace of Karen Kain, Eugene Levy, Martin Short and Neil Peart; c) the home of steelmaker Stelco Holdings, whose stock rose after it declared a special dividend of $3 a share and hiked its regular quarterly payout by 40 per cent, even as its sales and earnings both fell in the third quarter amid inflation and weak steel prices; d) all of the above. Answer: d.

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