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stars and dogs

Bitcoin (STAR)


Can someone help? If crypto replaces fiat currency, how will we know what a bitcoin is worth? Will we have to measure its value in bushels of corn? Heads of cattle? Bitcoin speculators evidently aren’t troubled by such questions, judging by the cryptocurrency’s surge to a record high of more than US$70,000 – equivalent to about 40,000 pounds of live cattle – as investors continued to pile into new U.S. bitcoin exchange-traded funds. Now, answer me another question: Can you grill bitcoin on your barbecue? No, you can’t.

Apple Inc. (DOG)

AAPL – Nasdaq

Multiple-choice quiz! Shares of Apple Inc. fell after: a) more than a dozen people wearing Apple Vision Pro goggles wound up in the emergency department after colliding with signposts, parked cars and displays of canned soup at the supermarket; b) Apple’s CEO, Tim Cook, tendered his resignation in order “to finally realize a lifelong dream of opening my own bed and breakfast”; c) research firm Counterpoint reported that iPhone sales in China slumped 24 per cent year-over-year in the first six weeks of 2024, while its chief competitor in premium smartphones, Huawei, saw unit sales soar by 64 per cent. Answer: c.

WW International Inc. (DOG)

WW – Nasdaq

Remember when Oprah Winfrey gave a new car to every member of her studio audience? “You get a car! You get a car! You get a car!” Well, lately she’s cost investors a lot more than the price of a new automobile. Shares of WW International Inc. have shed more than US$70-million of market value since the former talk show host announced In late February that she is leaving the board of the company, formerly known as Weight Watchers International, and donating her stake of about 1.1 million shares to the National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington. After revealing that she is taking a weight-loss medication, Ms. Winfrey said she is resigning from the WW board to avoid any perceived conflicts of interest. “You get a loss! You get a loss! You get a loss!”

Foot Locker Inc. (DOG)


Phew! Foot Locker Inc.’s stock is starting to smell like an old sneaker. Shares of the athletic footwear and apparel retailer took its biggest dive on record after it posted fourth-quarter results ahead of expectations but issued full-year earnings guidance well short of Wall Street’s estimates. Adding to the stench, the company said it now expects to reach its profit margin targets by 2028 – two years later than it had predicted a year ago when it unveiled its “Lace Up” plan that includes store closings and new store formats. With the turnaround taking longer than expected, investors are running away from Foot Locker as fast as they can.

Victoria’s Secret & Co. (DOG)


You might say Victoria’s Secret & Co. investors are losing their shirts. The shares took their biggest tumble on record after the intimate apparel retailer forecast fiscal 2024 net sales below estimates, signalling a third consecutive year of falling revenue. With consumers buying more of their lingerie and sleepwear from value-priced retailers such as, and Lululemon taking market share in sports bras, Victoria’s Secret investors probably wish they didn’t have any skin in this game.

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Tickers mentioned in this story

Study and track financial data on any traded entity: click to open the full quote page. Data updated as of 28/03/24 6:23pm EDT.

SymbolName% changeLast
Footlocker Inc
Apple Inc
Victorias Secret & Co.
Weight Watchers International Inc
Bitcoin Futures March 2024

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