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A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

PepsiCo (STAR)

Pop and chips don’t just make an excellent breakfast, lunch or dinner, they’re a recipe for rising profits, too. Shares of PepsiCo surged to a record after the maker of brands including Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Lay’s and Doritos reported quarterly results above expectations, lifted by higher ad spending and strong sales of products such as Pepsi Zero Sugar and the recently launched Bubly sparkling water. Investors will drink to that – and stuff their faces with chips, too.

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PEP - Nasdaq

Qualcomm (STAR)

Business quiz! Qualcomm soared after the company: a) unveiled a 36-core mobile processor that can simultaneously stream a high-definition movie, perform complex bitcoin-mining operations, play five-dimensional chess – and tell some pretty darn good knock-knock jokes; b) merged with Amazon.com to create QualZonAmaComm.com; c) settled a two-year patent dispute with Apple – a deal that will generate an estimated US$2.5-billion in additional revenue for Qualcomm, according to analysts. Answer: c.

QCOM - Nasdaq

Aphria (DOG)

Gee, do you think those Aphria short sellers were on to something? Less than five months after Quintessential Capital issued a scathing report alleging that Aphria benefited insiders by overpaying for operations in Latin America, the marijuana producer took a $50-million impairment charge on the assets following a review requested by the Ontario Securities Commission. Aphria also posted a quarterly loss of $108.2-million as sales postlegalization fell short of analysts’ expectations. Major buzz kill, dude.

APHA - TSX

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Canada Goose (STAR)

Now that the snow has melted, Canadians can look forward to that fabled spring pastime, Dodge the Canada Goose Poop. Here’s something more fun: investing in Canada Goose’s stock. Shares of the outerwear company had been hurt by political tensions with China, where Canada Goose has ambitious expansion plans. But with the company recently announcing six new stores in North America and Europe – including shops in Paris and Milan – investors are once again warming up to the stock.

GOOS - TSX

Bank of New York Mellon (DOG)

Borrowers may love low interest rates, but you won’t hear any cheers from shareholders of Bank of New York Mellon. Citing the flat yield curve – which compresses the spread between what lenders make on loans and pay out on deposits – the bank posted lower quarterly earnings and warned that revenue will likely come under pressure “for the next several quarters.” Investors promptly made a large withdrawal of stock, sending the shares to their biggest drop since 2015.

BK - NYSE

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