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A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

Dorel Industries (DOG)

Chalk up another “victory” for Donald Trump. Citing “chaotic market conditions” caused by higher U.S. tariffs on Chinese-made goods, Dorel Industries – whose products include Schwinn and Cannondale bicycles, Cosco and Safety 1st baby products and Dorel Living furniture – suspended its dividend and warned of weak third-quarter results, causing its stock to plummet. Clearly, it’s all the Bidens’ fault.

DII.B - TSX

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PepsiCo (STAR)

Business quiz! Shares of PepsiCo jumped after the soft drinks and snacks maker: a) announced a global rollout of its Pepsi QuadrupleCaf Energy drink after a successful test on kindergarten students in three U.S. states; b) was chosen as the exclusive snacks supplier for Japan’s professional Sumo wrestling league; c) posted third-quarter revenue and earnings above expectations, driven by higher spending on advertising and marketing, and said it will “meet or exceed” its full-year organic revenue growth target of 4 per cent. Answer: c.

PEP - Nasdaq

Stars Group (STAR)

How to lose money: Spend all of your free time on gambling websites. How to make money: Invest in the company that owns the websites. Shareholders of Stars Group hit the jackpot after the operator of online poker, sports betting and casino games agreed to an all-stock offer worth about US$6-billion from Flutter Entertainment of Dublin – a deal that would create one of the world’s biggest online gambling companies. The house wins again.

TSGI - TSX

TD Ameritrade (DOG)

What’s next, paying people to trade? Shares of online brokers plunged after Charles Schwab – the largest publicly traded e-broker – became the latest financial institution to slash stock-trading commissions to zero in the increasingly competitive industry. With TD Ameritrade subsequently announcing it will also eliminate commissions – a decision that will cost it between US$220-million and US$240-million a quarter, or about 15 per cent of its total revenue – the stock took its biggest dive in 20 years. Too bad some people had to actually pay to put through their sell orders.

AMTD - Nasdaq

McCormick & Co. (STAR)

Do yourself a flavour and buy some McCormick shares. The spice and seasonings maker jumped after the company – whose brands include McCormick, Club House, French’s and Lawry’s – reported third-quarter earnings that beat analysts’ estimates and raised its full-year outlook, citing strength in Asia and the Americas. Apparently, investors bay leaf it won’t be the last thyme McCormick serves up some solid results.

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MKC - NYSE

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