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A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

Rogers Communications (DOG)

Rogers’ new unlimited wireless data plans have done well – a little too well, apparently. Citing the addition of about one million Rogers Infinite subscribers since the all-you-can-eat offerings were launched in June – about three times as many customers as Rogers originally expected – the company slashed its full-year revenue and earnings guidance to reflect falling overage charges. With Rogers’ handset revenues also taking a hit now that Infinite customers can buy any device for zero down, the stock took its biggest one-day tumble in more than six years. One thing that’s not unlimited is investors’ patience.

RCI.B - TSX

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McDonald’s Corp. (DOG)

McDonald’s shareholders aren’t lovin’ it anymore. After doubling over the past three years as investors came to believe the fast-food giant could do no wrong, the shares sank this week when the company missed third-quarter estimates by a dime – the first time earnings have come up short in two years at the Golden Arches. Even as same-store sales rose 5.9 per cent globally, traffic continued to fall in the key U.S. market as Mickey D’s struggled in the face of promotions from Burger King, Wendy’s and Popeyes. Investors can’t get the lousy aftertaste out of their mouths.

MCD - NYSE

SNC-Lavalin Group (STAR)

There once was a company called SNC,

Whose stock went straight up after Justin’s victory.

With deferred prosecution

Now a potential solution,

Investors were suddenly filled with much glee.

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SNC - TSX

Twitter (DOG)

You’d think Donald Trump’s increasingly deranged tweets alone would prop up Twitter’s traffic and results, but apparently not. Shares of the microblogging service plunged after Twitter reported third-quarter earnings and revenue that both missed estimates, citing bugs in its advertising platform that affected the company’s ability to target users and measure the effectiveness of ad campaigns. With Twitter expecting the software glitches to persist in the fourth quarter and issuing a weaker-than-expected forecast for the period, investors need more than 280 characters to express their frustration.

TWTR - NYSE

Tesla (STAR)

Business quiz! Shares of Tesla jumped after the electric car maker: a) unveiled its newest low-emissions vehicle, the Tesla Model PU, that runs entirely on recycled human waste; b) won a contract from Alberta’s major oil sands producers to electrify their fleets of trucks and heavy machinery; c) posted adjusted earnings of US$1.86 a share in the third quarter, surprising analysts who had expected a loss, as cost controls and improved manufacturing efficiencies helped the company overcome its first year-over-year drop in revenue since 2012. Answer: c.

TSLA - Nasdaq

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