A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week
Grubhub (DOG)
You know when your delivery driver gets lost and your food arrives two hours late? And when you open the box, instead of a large beef burrito it’s a kale salad? Shareholders of Grubhub were feeling mighty disappointed, too, after the meal-delivery service slashed its revenue and earnings expectations for the year, citing growing competition. With companies such as Uber Eats, DoorDash and Postmates all fighting for customers in an increasingly crowded marketplace, Grubhub’s stock just went on a crash diet.
Encana (DOG)
New names that Encana rejected before rebranding itself as Ovintiv: 1) Bibimbap; 2) Shazzizzlezam; 3) Roseanne Roseanna Encanadana. Whatever the unusual moniker means, it didn’t exactly click with investors: Shares of the oil and gas producer tumbled after the company unveiled its new identity, reported third-quarter results and announced plans to move its corporate domicile to the United States in a bid to attract more U.S. investment. Ovintiv. Ovintiv. Ovintiv. It’ll grow on you. Promise.
Beyond Meat (DOG)
No animals are harmed in the making of Beyond Meat products. But plenty of investors are getting slaughtered. With restrictions on selling about 80 per cent of the company’s stock having expired this week, shares of the plant-based protein producer were butchered in an ugly sell-off amid growing concerns about rising costs and increased competition in the faux-meat space. Now that Beyond Meat has plummeted about 65 per cent from its July high, investors are cow-ering in fear.
Restaurant Brands International (DOG)
Well, at least the lines at Tim Hortons might move a little faster now. Even as sister chains Burger King and Popeyes posted impressive same-store sales growth of of 4.8 per cent and 9.7 per cent, respectively, Tims suffered another disappointing quarter as same-store sales slumped 1.4 per cent. Seems people aren’t buying as many lunch wraps or Iced Caps, and Tims’ new loyalty program – which gives customers a free beverage or baked good after seven visits – isn’t helping sales, either. Clearly, this calls for the launch of a new grilled panini thingy.
Torstar (DOG)
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Torstar suspends dividend and announces third-quarter loss of $40.9-million! Stock plunges! Buy a paper and get the complete story! Full coverage inside! … C’mon, somebody buy a paper! … Anyone? … Fine, don’t buy a paper, cheapskates! Keep getting your news for free off the internet! Thanks for nothing, losers!
John Heinzl