'Pregnant women are smug. Everyone knows it, nobody says it, because they're pregnant."
Just over a month ago, Los Angeles comedy duo Garfunkel and Oates sat down in front of their camcorder, waved hello to their virtual audience and launched into an impossibly catchy song poking fun at one of society's sacred cows: the pregnant woman. To their surprise, the 2½-minute video, which mocks prissy expectant mothers who insist that they don't care whether it's a boy or a girl as long as it's healthy or refuse to divulge the sex or chosen name of their baby, really struck a chord.
Seen more than 114,000 times on YouTube after going viral on mommy blogs and sites such as Jezebel.com, the overwhelming viewer response has been "so true." Many thanked the pair for spewing words they've long swallowed.
"Thank you x 20 for this. I don't want to see [Facebook]status updates about diapers any more," wrote YouTube user alisonnicole84.
Even mothers lauded the pair. "I've been preggers before and this is hilarious!!" wrote user gaffmedic.
Riki Lindhome, 30, and Kate Micucci, 29, (neither of whom have been pregnant) make up the duo and said they were surprised so many people shared their pet peeve.
"I think people are scared to say anything because it's not socially acceptable to make fun of a pregnant woman," says Ms. Lindhome, the Garfunkel of the pair. "Pregnant women are revered in our society, they're this sacred thing. Everyone says 'They're glowing and they're beautiful,' but there's this elephant in the room," she says.
She's referring to the expectation that everyone must politely ask about a woman's pregnancy whether they care or not.
Pregnant women share their own world of experience and those who prod at a realm they don't understand risk tongue lashings or worse, she says.
Inspiration struck one day when Ms. Lindhome was chatting with three pregnant women from her theatre company. "I was just listening and the one girl says to me, 'Riki, what do you even do all day?' I was like, 'What do you mean?' And she said, 'I don't know, everything before pregnancy seems so meaningless.' "
Ms. Micucci, a.k.a. Oates, admits she was a bit hesitant while co-writing the song.
"Even though I thought it was really funny, it seemed a little mean," she says. "But at the same time, I think the truth in it outweighs that."
The song resonates because some of us are just plain jealous, says Georgia Witkin, a New York psychiatrist and obstetrician.
"A lot of people who aren't pregnant have some pregnancy envy," she says. She treats a lot of women at her fertility clinic, Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York, who desperately want children but can't reproduce.
Plus, she notes, women who tend to be smug were probably like that before the bun was in the oven.
Anthony Landicho caught the video and recognized the smugness his wife used to express. The 40-year-old YouTube user from Leesburg, Va., says his wife spoke in clichés through all five of her pregnancies. When her friends talked about a new car they'd bought, she'd say material things don't matter, it's all about the joy of having children, he says. Or she'd say she didn't care about the gender as long as the baby was healthy.
"Many times, in the back of my head, I'd be saying, 'Oh yeah, right, you know what you really want,' " he says. " 'You don't care if it has 18 fingers, but you really do care if it's a girl.' "
Meanwhile, mommy bloggers proudly declared their own smugness.
"I'm going to put my hand up and admit to being quite smug when I'm pregnant," wrote 37-year-old Australian Mia Freedman on her blog mamamia.com.au. "I love being knocked up and am always blown away by the fact that I'm growing a human inside me."
Yet, among the chorus of "so true," some worry that poking fun of a proud pregnant woman will discourage expectant moms from revelling in the extra attention they deserve.
Women only get that kind of limelight while pregnant, so by all means let them enjoy it, says Andrea O'Reilly, founder of the Association for Research on Mothering at Toronto's York University. Teasing mothers who bask in the glory of pregnancy tends to send a negative message, she says.
"I'm sure there are some quirks and people who take it too far ... but to make it into a stereotype or caricature thing bothers me," she says. "Then any type of woman will say, 'Oh God, I don't want to be that.' "
May Friedman, a York University researcher on feminism in the mommy blogosphere, says it's often the not-so-pregnant public that focuses on the woman's impending motherhood. These women are left with little room to discuss other things, leading them to "give up" and succumb to the motherly attention.
"I remember when I was pregnant and one of my friends said, 'How am I ever going to call you for advice about guys when your kid is going to have their first tooth?' And I was like, 'But that's boring. How interesting is it that my kid has its first tooth?' " she says. "Women are subjected to so much negative attention in the world, but if there is a source of positive attention, I can see why some women would want to capitalize on that, frankly."
Tara Slone, 35, a Toronto woman in her seventh month of pregnancy, laughed at the video but sensed a little bit of ignorance. "My first impression was, 'Who are these barely postpubescent girls to talk about pregnancy?' " she says. "But at the same time, we'll do things in the name of comedy and it was cleverly done."
Ms. Lindhome says the pair was very careful to focus on things some pregnant women say and not pretend to know their experience.
"I don't understand the physical condition, I would never make fun of someone saying 'I'm feeling really emotional, I need some ice cream.' I don't know what that's like."
Online
Watch the Garfunkel and Oates video at globeandmail.com/life