For 10 years, The Globe Challenge, helmed by Warren Clements, tested readers’ wit and creativity. Each week, The Challenge pitched the ball to an unknown number of batters, and every week they returned it with an unpredictable force and spin.
This year, The Challenge is returning as a special part of the The Globe and Mail’s holiday Diversions section.
The four challenges below are your blank canvas, a chance to share your wit with Canadians across the country. Let the questions and examples inspire funny, brainy, surreal or silly responses.
Your answers should be fairly brief, and printable, but otherwise give your imagination free rein. You can submit more than one response per challenge.
E-mail your submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org, with The Challenge in the subject line and indicate which of the following four challenges you are answering in the body of the e-mail. Entries will be accepted until Nov. 11.
The answers will appear in the Diversions section of The Globe and Mail on Dec. 24, as well as online.
The Challenge responses: Globe readers rise to The Challenge with wit, humour and wisdom
Challenge 1: How can you tell you need to get a new doctor or switch to a new hospital?
She thinks COVID is a shared subscription to Netflix.
When you go in for a knee replacement, he asks what you want there instead.
The anesthetist is standing by with a hammer.
People in the waiting room keep track of the time not with watches but with calendars.
Challenge 2: Amend any familiar phrase or expression, and define the result
Taste makes waste: Eat the leftovers even if they’re unpalatable.
Another day, another dolour: The pessimist’s creed.
The rite stuff: Who brought the incense?
Challenge 3: Write a brief synopsis of a well-known movie, play, book or opera that indicates you either haven’t seen/read it or have entirely missed the point
Gulliver’s Travels: I found it impossible to locate the lands the book mentions on a map. Anyone planning a holiday based on Mr. Gulliver’s itinerary is in for nothing but frustration.
Catch-22: Anglers everywhere will enjoy this helpful guide on how, when and where to land close to a couple of dozen fish.
Gone With the Wind: In this sequel to The Wizard of Oz, a hurricane blows Dorothy to another faraway land.
Challenge 4: How can you tell when you need a new bank?
You ask about the day’s interest, and your adviser says what she’s really interested in is buying a new car.
The teller says you’ll like these $50 bills better because they have photographs of pop stars on them.
The safety deposit boxes are made of cardboard, and you’re told not to worry if one of the sides is held on with tape.