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Illustration by Murat Yukselir/The Globe and Mail

There were a satisfyingly large number of entries to these challenges. Thank you to all who entered. I stripped off the names, did the judging, and reattached the names – all covered by the provincial health plan. As you will see, some readers have more than one entry, and entries in more than one category. Where there were two similar entries, I flipped a coin – a well-known surgical procedure.

—Warren Clements

Challenge #2

The challenge was to amend any familiar phrase or expression, and define the result. Elsie Wollaston tossed in an unamended phrase. “Mind your Ps and Qs: Expect lineups for organic petits-pois.”

  • A mare usque ad mare: Scholarly cowboy talk roughly translating to “From horse to horse.” (John Smeeton)
  • Good things come to those who mate: Canada Child Benefit public service announcement. (Shirley Shikaze)
  • Throw in the trowel: Gardening is not your forte. (Donald Bell)
  • Time heals mall wounds: Recover in time to compete for next year’s Christmas toy fad. (David Roberts)
  • There’s no place like genome: Nothing’s more comforting than knowing your ancestry. (Cheryl Minuk)
  • One good return deserves another: Investors’ wishful thinking. (Lesley Hands Wilson)
  • Tim’s waits for no man: Let’s keep that drive-thru line moving! (Brian Yamashita)
  • No harm, no fowl: The bird lives. No turkey dinner for you! (Shirley Shikaze)
  • I like the cut of his rib: When you want the same thing the other person got. (Grace T.)
  • Start the bull rolling: Chit-chat in the men’s locker room. (Susan Henry)
  • A friend in knead is a friend indeed: Someone in your pandemic bubble shared half their yeast with you. (David Roberts)
  • Waiters, waiters, everywhere, and not a drink to drop: The unserved customer’s lament in a busy restaurant. (Jeffrey Morgan)
  • Hope for the breast, but prepare for the wurst: Thoughts as the meal trolley finally arrives at row 42 on the Air Canada flight to Frankfurt. (Jennifer Mogridge)
  • Better safe than snory: Why your respirologist recommended a CPAP machine and sleep mask. (Lou D’Souza)
  • One ding after another: What life is like in a big city if you have a car. (Charles Crockford)
  • Make America Grate Again: Ban powdered cheese products. (Bill Kummer)
  • Think globally, tact locally: Save the world but don’t mention your plan to melt down the neighbours’ cars and turn them into bikes. (David Roberts)
  • The early worm gets eaten: Never arrive early. (John Rankin)
  • Plastic makes perfect: A reconstructive surgeon’s motto. (Nigel Brachi)
  • A penny saved is a penny spurned: Because of inflation, it’s no longer worth the effort. (Ian A.C. McCallum)
  • He who laughs last, laughs hesitantly: He doesn’t want everyone else to think he’s too dumb to get the joke. (Claire Meranda)
  • Row v. Wade: Debate continues on the most efficient way to evacuate flood victims. (Michael Alexander)
  • It’s the rot that counts: Take notice of the “best before” dates on your groceries. (Cheryl Minuk)
  • Every cloud has a silver airplane: Motto of the vapour-trail conspiracy theorists. (Andrew Moore)
  • An affair off the chart: Love that knows no bounds. (Donald Bell)
  • What doesn’t kill you makes you ponder: Wisdom. (Carl Bourassa)
  • Catch a falling star and put it in a socket: Alternative energy. (Charlene Reimer)
  • The clam before the storm: Advice for bivalves on preparing for inclement weather. (Carla Hagstrom Bissada)
  • From dawn to musk: Tweeting all day long. (Cheryl Minuk)
  • The early word catches the norm: Put something on Twitter and people will believe it immediately. (Charles Crockford)
  • If you willed it, they will come: How to get your family to visit. (Kerrie Long)
  • A snitch in time save mine: The canary did its job. (Ian A.C. McCallum)
  • Look before he leaps: Be wary of other’s bold moves. (Christopher Waters)
  • It isn’t what it is: An anti-vaxxer’s belief about COVID. (Margaret Ross)
  • Those who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones: Don’t be pretentious. (Graham Hardman)
  • Follow your extinct: Going Paleo! (Jean-François Belanger)
  • He waited with baited breath: Yup, he’d been eating worms again. (Terry Wine)
  • An Englishman’s home is his hassle: Someone has to pay the heating bill. (David Roberts)
  • A snitch in time saves nine: The RCMP’s rule of thumb. (William Aide)
  • To give someone the gold folder: To assign an employee a lucrative account. (David Stones)
  • Whining isn’t everything: Sports teams change how they handle post-game interviews. (Charles Crockford)
  • Give someone the benefit of the drought: Drink to me only with thine eyes. (John Rammell)
  • If only walls could walk: Simplifying your house renovation to open concept. (Shirley Shikaze)
  • Bettors can’t be boozers: Sign in a casino advising that gambling and alcohol don’t mix. (David Stones)
  • It takes one to no one: You are on a fruitless quest to find someone. (Christopher Waters)
  • One man’s meat is another man’s poisson: The Montreal seafood restaurant offers limited fare. (Jeff Manishen)
  • You’ll find a pot of mould at the end of the rainbow: What did you expect with that level of moisture? (Charles Friedrich)
  • Not with standing claws: How lobsters prefer to pose. (Bill Kummer)
  • Absinthe makes the heart beat faster: Be mindful of the effects of alcohol. (Jennifer Mogridge)
  • One slaw for the itch and another for the pore: Vegan chefs start selling their products in drugstores. (Charles Crockford)
  • The pot calling the kettle back: The water hadn’t boiled yet. (Shirley Shikaze)
  • A rolling stone gathers no boss: Mick fails to replace Keith with Bruce. (David Roberts)
  • Good things come to those who weigh: If you monitor your weight you will have better health outcomes. (Christopher Waters)
  • A man’s dome is his castle: High minds think big. (Donald Bell)
  • Kiljoy was here!: When you attempt to embellish your great adventure story, expect some “friend” or acquaintance to one-up you on the details claiming he/she was there. (Charles Friedrich)
  • Nouveau skriche: Alcoholic beverage preferred by snobbish Newfoundlanders. (David Stones)
  • The early bird gets the vermin: The well-known phenomenon that early risers are more likely than others to pursue policing and legal careers. (Jane Cunningham)
  • “This program includes violins, new ditties, and of course language”: Promotion for a new TV show. (Michael Derblich)
  • Bang the bum slowly: A kinder, gentler form of corporal punishment. (John Teshima)
  • “Why did the chicken cross to Rhodes?”: Because the ferry to Lesbos wasn’t working. (Ian A.C. McCallum)
  • See a pin and pick it up and all the day you will need a Band-Aid: But who drops pins today? (Anna Leggatt)