Maybe you're like me. Maybe you're a broke, scheming filmmaker who aims to finance his first feature film by becoming best friends with A-list Hollywood actors. Or maybe you just want to ogle pretty, wealthy, popular people as they zigzag down a mountain in bum-hugging Prada ski pants.
The problem is how to get past the castle walls erected around every major actor. Agents. Managers. Assistants. Bodyguards. These gatekeepers exist to keep commoners -- especially no-dough wannabe filmmakers -- as far away as possible from their lucrative cash cows.
Just like with exotic animals in the wild, the trick to befriending celebs is to approach when their guards are down. Like when they're on ski holidays, for example. Just like royalty -- who are continually being photographed at North America's top ski resorts -- celebs seem to appreciate the anonymity provided by a pair of goggles and a puffy parka. And for star-hunters such as myself, lengthy chairlift rides mean plenty of time to chit-chat about the snow pack, virgin powder and my new feature-length romantic detective comedy, a copy of which I'll just happen to have duct-taped to the chest of my turtleneck.
This winter, I'm toting my skis, film and scripts to the following five North American ski resorts, which are famous for hosting vacationing or film-festival-going celebrities.
Park City, Utah
The Park City area features four world-class ski resorts: Park City Mountain Resort, my top pick for skiing and star-gazing; The Canyons, Utah's largest ski resort; Deer Valley Resort, voted No. 1 ski resort in North America by readers of Ski magazine; and the surprisingly affordable Sundance Resort, a family-friendly hill that is smaller than the others and relatively free of lift lines.
This winter, the best slope-side celeb-spotting is likely to be during the 2006 Sundance Film Festival from Jan. 19 to 26. Every year, dozens of A-listers -- not to mention hundreds of D-listers like myself -- join festival and resort founder Robert Redford in Park City to ski, schmooze -- and maybe even watch a few movies.
According to Sundance spokeswoman Lucy Ridolphi, Redford himself "loves to ski Bishop's Bowl on a powder day. It's an expansive bowl with a variety of runs, some tree-lined, some open-bowl."
As for après-ski spots, Ridolphi says, Redford "of course likes all of our restaurants: the Foundry Grill, the Tree Room, and Zoom in Park City. He also loves Bear Claw's Cabin, a mountaintop ski café, here at Sundance."
During my first festival visit, I fell in love with Sundance's Owl Bar, a mellow, all-wood après-ski cabin. It's the original 1890s Rosewood Bar frequented by Butch Cassidy and the Hole in the Wall Gang, which Redford moved to Sundance from Thermopolis, Wyo. After drinking all the single-malt scotch in the Owl Bar, I'm certain I saw film critic Roger Ebert looking thin and grumpy.
Looming large over the town, Park City Mountain Resort has nine bowls and 100 trails, as well as a breathtaking run that glides down onto Town Bridge, the snowy gateway to the town's historic Main Street. Here, right next to the ski lift, festival sponsors hype their expensive sunglasses, vodkas and Hummers by pitching VIP tents and throwing outdoor concerts for the puffy-jacketed Hollywood elite.
I snuck into one crowded VIP concert tent one night, where Britney Spears and Ed Norton were watching Liz Phair perform an acoustic set. I contributed by accidentally elbowing Salma Hayek in her lovely, olive-coloured nose (man, she's short). I also witnessed the Black Eyed Peas wow a tiny Main Street bar crowd with a dance-off in the mosh pit.
Dan Mirvish, co-founder of Sundance's competitor film festival, Slamdance, says the strange thing about Park City is that "despite the huge influx of people, the slopes are incredibly empty. The hotels and condos fill up with festival attendees, most of whom are awkward geeks struggling to look cool."
The celebrities are easy to spot too. "They invariably wear all-black," Mirvish says. "The locals refer to them as PIBs [People in Black] and they make really easy snowball targets schussing down the slopes or walking down Main Street."
Mont Tremblant, Que.
With Tremblant's 94 runs and seven hectares of ramps, rails and jumps -- as well as an Olympic calibre superpipe -- I can see why ski-mad couple Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones recently purchased property on nearby Lac Desmarais, 130 kilometres north of Montreal in the Laurentian hills. Not to mention that, as of 2005, Mont-Tremblant has been recognized by Ski magazine as the No. 1 ski resort in Eastern North America for eight consecutive years.
Their real-estate agent, Michael Clark, recently told The Globe and Mail that the pair plan to erect a massive retreat on a "substantial" piece of waterfront property minutes from Tremblant's slopes. The local dépanneur is where I will accidentally bump into them, Oscar-winning screenplay in hand.
Rich and famous Yanks have flocked to this resort since the heady days of Henry Fonda and Jackie Kennedy. Karina Prevost, a spokeswoman at Tremblant's Intrawest headquarters, said Rob Marshall, director of the movie Chicago, has a house in the region. She added that Nicole Kidman, Anthony Hopkins, Ed Harris and Gary Sinise all stayed at Tremblant during the filming of The Human Stain in 2003.
Provost also confirmed that "many NHL hockey players" own homes in Tremblant. Alongside race car drivers Alexandre Tagliani, Craig Pollock and Jacques Villeneuve, the athletes crowd into the haute-cuisine Aux Truffes restaurant to dine on smoked-buffalo sandwiches and milk-fed veal medallions.
Vail, Colo.
With more than 2,000 hectares, 33 lifts and seven powdery bowls, Vail is the largest single ski mountain in North America. It also hosts the small and friendly Vail Film Festival, running March 30 to April 2, 2006.
A-listers such as Cameron Diaz like to ski at Vail because it's low-key and they can blend in with the locals, Vail Resorts spokeswoman Kelly Ladyga says. Property owners in the area include former U.S. vice-president Dan Quayle, Trista (The Bachelorette) Rehn, John (The Astronaut) Glenn and Arnold Schwarzenegger, who by all accounts is a bit of a ski bum (or at least likes to buy resort real estate).
Visitors who've recently been pampered at Vail's decadent Sonnenalp Resort include Tom Brokaw, Judy Collins, Robert Redford, Gloria Estefan, Dr. Ruth, Paul Reiser and Princess Stephanie of Monaco -- some of whom may have slept in separate rooms.
In Vail Village, popular après-ski watering holes include local favourite the Tap Room/Sanctuary, a multilevel restaurant and nightclub; and The Club, a live music hub that, according to Vail's website, is "popular among the 'younger, crazier' crowd" -- like, say, Princess Stephanie back when she was a hard-partying, pre-teen disco tart.
Whistler-Blackcomb, B.C.
In the 1970s, back when Princess Stephanie was a disco-dancing fetus, Whistler was still a quaint ski village that locals hoped to cherish forever as their special secret. Fat chance: Whistler-Blackcomb, now owned by Intrawest, has boomed in the past 25 years, becoming a popular celebrity stopover.
In the slope-side Fairmont Chateau Whistler, my secret concierge source tells me that Whistlerites are sharing the slopes with millionaire ski nuts such as Sean Penn, Reese Witherspoon, Kevin Costner, Minnie Driver, Sarah Jessica Parker, Queen Latifah, Seal (who owns a chalet in Whistler), and William Baldwin.
According to one snowboarder, "You can't swing your board these days without hitting at least one Baldwin brother on location."
As in previous years, presenters at the 2006 Academy Awards will receive a $12,000 goody bag including three complimentary nights at the luxurious Four Seasons Whistler hotel.
They might run into Bill Gates, who recently purchased all the public areas in the hotel, and is rumoured to have secretly paid off a Whistler ski instructor's mortgage as thanks for the man's help after the Microsoft boss blew a tire on the Sea-to-Sky Highway.
Whistler ski instructor Darren Kinnaird says celebrities' favourite runs are the Chipmunk Terrain Park (safe and easy), Pontiac Race Centre (fun for racing against their instructors), the Blackcomb Glacier, and the Dave Murray downhill.
As for dining, Kinnaird says "Cameron [Diaz]and Justin [Timberlake]loved the Chick Pea on Whistler Mountain, and the Portobello at the Fairmont Hotel."
He added that he saw Katie Holmes and Chris Klein (her then-boyfriend) having a late breakfast and then an afternoon snack at the Roundhouse and Rendez-Vous restaurants.
When the Whistler Film Festival opens on Dec 1., publicist Jeanette Miller says "the best place to spot celebs will be the bar (Fifty Two 80) in the Four Seasons."
The Brightlight Pictures/Vancouver Film Studios party at Araxi restaurant will also be a hot spot. During last year's bash, Miller says, "Katie Holmes sat at the Araxi bar and chatted with some local women. Chris Klein was the same -- very polite and very open."
The 2005 Whistler Film Festival, meanwhile, is expecting actors Molly Parker, Don McKellar and Veronica Tennant.
The best part: I just heard that my short film, Good Times: Vol. 1, has been selected for screening. You should come. We'll go skiing together, then hoist a beer and go celeb-hunting.
I'll be easy to find: Just look for the tall, grinning guy dressed all in black. Prepare your snowballs, and fire at will.
Pack your bags
PARK CITY
Park City Mountain Resort: 1-800-331-3178; parkcitymountain.com.
Sundance Resort: 1-800-892-1600; .
Sundance Film Festival:
festival.sundance.org/2006.
Owl Bar: 801-223-4222; _bar.htm.
MONT TREMBLANT
Mont Tremblant Ski Resort: ; 1-888-738-1777. Adult lift ticket: $45 to $56.
Aux Truffes: 819-681-4544; .
VAIL
Vail Mountain: 1-877-204-7881; .
Vail Film Fest: vailfilmfestival.org.
Sonnenalp Resort of Vail: .
Tap Room/Sanctuary: .
WHISTLER-BLACKCOMB
Whistler Blackcomb: ; 1-800-766-0449. Whistler Film Festival: . Dec. 1 to 4.
Four Seasons Resort Whistler: 604-935-3400; .
Fifty Two 80 Bar: _271.html.
Araxi: 604-932-4540; araxi.com.
Fairmont Chateau Whistler: 604-938-8000; fairmont.com/whistler.
Monk's Grill: ; 604-932-9677.
Whistler Roundhouse Lodge: .
Rendez-Vous: 604-932-3141.