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Celebrity Photos of the Week: On the recruitment trail with Tom Cruise!

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Well, hello, Tom Cruise. At 51, he’s still the biggest movie star on the planet (who’s bigger? Channing Tatum?), but he seemed rather wan and woebegone at the premiere of his new sci-fi thriller Edge of Tomorrow in Paris this week. After three failed marriages, could the tiny, perfect Scientologist be in need of fresh female companionship?


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Ever the trooper, Tom posed for the French paparazzi with Edge co-star Emily Blunt, who graciously wore her shortest heels

Jacques Brinon/AP

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On the very same day, Tom attended the U.K. premiere of his new film in London, where he craftily endeared himself to local media by hoisting a mug of tea. English people love their tea, you know


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The meet-and-greet hit a lull when Tom insisted on dragging out those hoary old stories about him performing his own stunts while shooting Top Gun


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But then he regained mind control over everyone with the exciting tale of the time he beat Matt Lauer in an arm-wrestling match. What a pro!


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Also at the Edge of Tomorrow premiere: British actor Tom Hardy and Charlotte Riley. Did we miss the news about an Inspector Gadget remake?

Joel Ryan/Joel Ryan/Invision/AP

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Here we have the noted English film director Guy Ritchie and Jacqui Ainsley. We don’t remember him looking this simian when he was married to Madonna


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Elsewhere in the U.K., wiseass comedy auteur Seth MacFarlane showed up at a London press event for his new flick A Million Ways To Die In The West. Sure, we knew MacFarlane provided the voice of baby Stewie on Family Guy, but we never suspected he was an identical twin

Joel Ryan/Invision for Universal Pictures

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At the same premiere were Amanda Seyfried and Charlize Theron – a rising ingenue and an Oscar-winner, respectively – who nonetheless managed to put on brave faces despite the realization they’re now acting in a Seth MacFarlane movie


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And here we see all three Million Ways stars together – but who cares about the movie any more? We’d rather know why the premiere has lighting mindful of German expressionist cinema


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But let us now skip over to nearby Monte Carlo, where music-industry superstars congregated this week for something called the World Music Awards. Most likely you’ve never heard of the recording artist called Stromae, but he can’t walk down the street in his native Belgium. By the way, everybody dresses like Stromae in Belgium


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Representing America at the World Music Awards was singer Jason Derulo. Nobody dresses like Jason Derulo in America


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For the entertainment portion of the WMAs, Mr. Derulo chose a classier ensemble of currency-lithographed attire. All together now: USA! USA!


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Also performing was that fine American export Miley Cyrus, who for one exercised discretion by wearing a gown made of hotel-curtain drapes


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Sadly, she was excoriated by the European press when she nodded off midway through her set. It’s a long flight to Monty Carlin, y’all!


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At some point, awards were handed out at the WMAs. Here we see the singer known as Flo Rida accepting his trophy in the accepted American fashion

Bruno Bebert/AP

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And so did the Indonesian singer named Anggun. This is how colds and flu viruses are spread, people!

Bruno Bebert/AP

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But mostly, the WMAs were about honouring musical artists whose best works are now in the remainder bins. Artists like: Ricky Martin. He hasn’t had a hit song in years, but he’s still Livin' La Vida Loca, baby!


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Exhibit B: Mariah Carey, this year’s WMA recipient of the Pop Icon Award. Turns out all those rumours about her going into the international diplomacy field were just rumours

Claude Paris/AP

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Some of the celebs at the WMAs weren’t even from the music world. Here we see our own Canadian AMW (Actress/Model/Whatever) Pamela Anderson, looking even more slatternly than she ever did in her nineties heyday, but still open to new ways of thinking


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“Pammie, let me tell you about a cat named Xenu...”


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