Skip to main content

All captions by The Globe and Mail. You can follow Caption Writing Person's tweets at @captionperson.

Open this photo in gallery:

Selena Gomez arrives at the Glamour Magazine Women of the Year Awards in New York on Monday. Being named a Woman of the Year for breaking up with Justin Bieber seems a little sarcastic, but, hey, we don’t make the rules here – we just report the news that we make up.Reuters

1 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Ms. Gomez was a little puzzled when an onlooker, attempting to be sympathetic, reassured her that she’d find a new girlfriend before long.Reuters

2 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Justin Bieber, too, was puzzled by this.AP

3 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Bieber’s spokespeople said the couple broke up because the singer, seen here performing in Boston on Saturday, needed more time to focus on the things that matter to him the most.AP

4 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Bieber’s spokespeople also said the couple broke up because the singer needed more time to focus on the thing that matters to him the most.AP

5 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

As well, Bieber’s spokespeople said the couple broke up because the singer, seen here performing at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show in New York last week, needed more time to focus on the thing/things that matter to him the most.AP

6 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Above all, though, Bieber’s spokespeople said the couple broke up because the singer just needed more time to focus on those things that matter relatively more than other things to multimillionaire teenage boys who can have any damn thing they want, whenever they want it.Reuters

7 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Yeah, but Javier Bardem in Hollywood last week is all, like, It’s one thing to want it, friend-o; it’s another thing to know what do with it.Reuters

8 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

And then Kristen Stewart is, like, Arriba! Arriba! at the premiere of "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2" in Los Angeles on Monday.Reuters

9 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

And so then, like, Taylor Lautner is all, like, I didn’t know Kristen spoke Swedish.Reuters

10 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

And then Robert Pattinson tries to pull his head and neck off of his shoulders. Which is understandable, given that I’ve now completely lost control of this gallery. It’s like any minute I might run a photo of David Hasselhoff at the MTV awards in Germany doing something with his body that he thinks is funny but which actually makes you a bit uncomfortable.Reuters

11 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Wait for it, people.Reuters

12 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Wait...Reuters

13 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Aaaaannnnnd there it is.Reuters

14 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Later David Hasselhoff called the eighties and asked for his career back.Reuters

15 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

Either this is Germany and Heidi Klum is about to pull an MTV award out from between the buttocks of the man on the right, or I’m seeing things again.Reuters

16 of 17
Open this photo in gallery:

It’s Germany. Good night, everyone!Reuters

17 of 17

Interact with The Globe