All captions by The Globe and Mail. You can follow Caption Writing Person's tweets at @captionperson.
Selena Gomez arrives at the Glamour Magazine Women of the Year Awards in New York on Monday. Being named a Woman of the Year for breaking up with Justin Bieber seems a little sarcastic, but, hey, we don’t make the rules here – we just report the news that we make up.Reuters
Ms. Gomez was a little puzzled when an onlooker, attempting to be sympathetic, reassured her that she’d find a new girlfriend before long.Reuters
Justin Bieber, too, was puzzled by this.AP
Bieber’s spokespeople said the couple broke up because the singer, seen here performing in Boston on Saturday, needed more time to focus on the things that matter to him the most.AP
Bieber’s spokespeople also said the couple broke up because the singer needed more time to focus on the thing that matters to him the most.AP
As well, Bieber’s spokespeople said the couple broke up because the singer, seen here performing at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show in New York last week, needed more time to focus on the thing/things that matter to him the most.AP
Above all, though, Bieber’s spokespeople said the couple broke up because the singer just needed more time to focus on those things that matter relatively more than other things to multimillionaire teenage boys who can have any damn thing they want, whenever they want it.Reuters
Yeah, but Javier Bardem in Hollywood last week is all, like, It’s one thing to want it, friend-o; it’s another thing to know what do with it.Reuters
And then Kristen Stewart is, like, Arriba! Arriba! at the premiere of "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2" in Los Angeles on Monday.Reuters
And so then, like, Taylor Lautner is all, like, I didn’t know Kristen spoke Swedish.Reuters
And then Robert Pattinson tries to pull his head and neck off of his shoulders. Which is understandable, given that I’ve now completely lost control of this gallery. It’s like any minute I might run a photo of David Hasselhoff at the MTV awards in Germany doing something with his body that he thinks is funny but which actually makes you a bit uncomfortable.Reuters
Wait for it, people.Reuters
Wait...Reuters
Aaaaannnnnd there it is.Reuters
Later David Hasselhoff called the eighties and asked for his career back.Reuters
Either this is Germany and Heidi Klum is about to pull an MTV award out from between the buttocks of the man on the right, or I’m seeing things again.Reuters
It’s Germany. Good night, everyone!Reuters