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All captions by The Globe and Mail's @captionperson

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Mally, the pet monkey of Canadian singer Justin Bieber, is seen at a home for animals in Munich on April 2, 2013. The 14-week old Capuchin monkey was quarantined last Thursday by German custom officials after Bieber brought the pet to Germany without the necessary documents. Sometimes captions just write themselves.Michaela Rehle/Reuters

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One minute you’re the monkey on some celebrity’s back and the next you’re a prisoner of the German state.Matthias Schrader/The Associated Press

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Must. Find. New. Celebrity.Michaela Rehle/Reuters

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Tom Cruise posed for a photo call for his new movie Oblivion in front of Moscow's Red Square on Monday...Ivan Burnyashev/Reuters

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... And then he was off to his next event.Ivan Burnyashev/Globe and Mail photobomb/Reuters

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Tom Cruise greets fans as he arrives for the premiere of his new movie, Oblivion, in Moscow later on Monday.Ivan Sekretarev/Globe and Mail photobomb/The Associated Press

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Tom Cruise’s hair is completely picked clean of sweet, sweet nits and insects as he poses with co-star Olga Kurylenko at the premiere of Oblivion in Moscow on Monday.Ivan Sekretarev/The Associated Press

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Meanwhile in Spain, Antonio Banderas has A) joined the Rotary Club B) become an honorary Spanish legionnaire or C) a morbid fear of monkey paws on his scalp.Jon Nazca/Reuters

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You can’t be too careful when you’re married to Melanie Griffith.Jon Nazca/Globe and Mail photobomb/Reuters

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Bruce Willis and his wife Emma Heming arrive at the premiere of G.I. Joe: Retaliation in Hollywood last week.Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Cast member Adrianne Palicki arrives at the premiere of G.I. Joe: Retaliation in Hollywood last week.Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Bruce Willis’s wife Emma Heming says that’s enough looking at Adrianne Palicki at the premiere of G.I. Joe: Retaliation in Hollywood last week.Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Rumer Willis turns up to support her father’s work at the premiere of G.I. Joe: Retaliation in Hollywood last week, and also to help keep the photo count up in this gallery on a slow week.Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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This is Elodie Yung. See secondary clause in previous caption.Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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If you were an ex-CFL football player who went into wrestling and then became a Hollywood megastar who keeps getting good reviews about your acting no matter how crappy your movies are, and this was your current girlfriend, you too would be smiling like this at the premiere of G.I. Joe: Retaliation in Hollywood last week.Chris Pizzello/The Associated Press

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Someday you will be mine, Dwayne Johnson. Someday...Michaela Rehle/Reuters

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Aaron Eckhart, star of Olympus Has Fallen, poses last week on what is apparently the only balcony in Moscow on which Hollywood stars are allowed to be photographed.Ivan Burnyashev/Reuters

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Gerard Butler (right) joins Aaron Eckhart on Official Balcony of Prostitution of Decadent American Movie Star Posings in Moscow last week.Ivan Burnyashev/Reuters

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Larry David arrives for the premiere of the play Lucky Guy in New York on Monday.Lucas Jackson/Globe and Mail photobomb/Reuters

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Barbara Walters arrives for the premiere of the play Lucky Guy in New York on Monday.Lucas Jackson/Globe and Mail photobomb/Reuters

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Bite me, Bieber, you monkey-dumping geek. I’m on Broadway now.Matthias Schrader/The Associated Press

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