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Celebrity Photos of the Week: Depp! Cruise!! Tory interns!!!

All captions by @captionperson

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Johnny Depp stands proudly in front of a picture of his nuanced portrayal in The Lone Ranger of a native American “spirit warrior” who speak in wise riddles and poor conjugation, and is the comic sidekick to a white man.

John Shearer/AP

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Speaking of Johnny Depp, now that he has split from Vanessa Paradis, has he taken comfort in the arms of another celebrity? Maybe someone who, like him, is 50 and recently ended a long-term relationship? Someone special, who isn’t way taller than him? That would be nice for Johnny.

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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This can’t be happening. [Note to Scientology lawyers: This ISN’T happening.]

Fred Prouser/Reuters

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Oh, it’s happening, if by happening you mean Johnny Depp and Tom Cruise posing together innocently on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Monday.

Fred Prouser/Reuters

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Top Guns of the Caribbean is now in production.

Fred Prouser/Reuters

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Brad Pitt smiles on the red carpet at the World War Z premiere in Moscow last week.

Alexander Zemlianichenko Jr/AP

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Brad Pitt sings at Bloomfield Stadium in Tel Aviv last week.

Amir Cohen/Reuters

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A furious Jennifer Lopez can NOT believe they laid her star upside-down on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame in Hollywood last week.

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Later, Lopez played with her daughter Emme while Jane Fonda took a nap.

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Justin Bieber is lowered into his Ferrari outside his home in Calabasas, Calif., last week.

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Justin Bieber waves hello to his neighbours in Calabasas, Calif., last week.

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters

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Meanwhile in Vienna, a wax figure of Justin Bieber was unveiled at Madame Tussauds and immediately put the lie to the cruel taunt that the pop singer has feminine features.

Heinz-Peter Bader/Reuters

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Way to go, Austria!

Heinz-Peter Bader/Reuters

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Meanwhile in Japan, an updated version of Justin Bieber was tested in front of a live audience to sort out any glitches before the life-like, slightly feminine exterior “skin” is added.

Toru Hanai/Reuters

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Breaking news from France this week, where an army of Smurfs invaded Paris in a surprise attack on Saturday morning. The French surrendered six hours later, setting a new personal best for waiting as long as possible to surrender.

Gonzalo Fuentes/Reuters

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The conquered subjects quickly adapted to life under their new rulers.

Laurent Dubrule/Reuters

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Miranda Cosgrove arrives at the premiere of Despicable Me 2 in Universal City, Calif., on Saturday while young Conservative Party interns inexplicably protest in the background on orders from the Prime Minister’s Office.

Danny Moloshok/Reuters

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A Tory intern photobombs Steve Carell at the premiere of Despicable Me 2 in Universal City, Calif., on Saturday in an effort disrupt the star in the performance of his legitimate duties as leader of the movie.

Chris Pizzello/AP

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“You should not be here and it is certainly inappropriate for the Prime Minister’s Office to be organizing such shady and obviously partisan activities!” an angry Steve Carell yells at the Tory interns.

Danny Moloshok/Reuters

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A Tory intern smiles after learning via the chip implanted in his skull that he has been appointed to the Senate as a reward for his excellent work disrupting the premiere of Despicable Me 2 in Universal City, Calif., on Saturday.

Danny Moloshok/Reuters

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