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WATCHING THE DETECTIVES

All of a sudden everyone is getting into the True Detective business.

Within days of HBO announcing that Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn would star in the second season of the gritty crime drama, we have the new parody spinoff titled Tiny Detectives.

In this version, however, the top cops are played by Canada’s own Ellen Page and House of Cards star Kate Mara.

Released on the Funny or Die website on Wednesday, the slick parody derives its humour entirely from the fact that both actresses are rather short (the clip actually reveals in an on-screen title that Page stands 5 foot 1 while Mara is 5 foot 2).

Running 1:45, the spoof shows Page and Mara, attired in rumpled suits much like those worn by Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey in the original True Detective, awkwardly deconstruct a bloody murder.

At one point, the pair attempt to search for clues, but neither is tall enough to reach for evidence on a wall shelf.

When Mara tries to lift Page up to reach the shelf, both come tumbling down.

The parody also borrows from the original series in a scene in which Page and Mara’s faux cops are interrogated by two internal-affairs investigators.

At one point, one of the investigators says to the diminutive pair, “It says here you guys sleep in a shoebox.”

Mara snaps back in response, “That’s personal.”

Elsewhere this week, daytime talk diva Elle DeGeneres delivered her own spin on the new TV spots for Lincoln automobiles starring McConaughey.

In the original commercial, McConaughey seemingly revisits his True Detective persona of troubled cop Rustin (Rust) Cohle as he sits on a highway in a new car and ponders a large bull blocking his way.

The ad remains the same in the cheeky Ellen version, except that DeGeneres magically shows up via digital technology in the backseat to ingest some “special” brownies.

DeGeneres also natters at the Oscar-winning actor with queries like, “What are you doing with your fingers?” and, “Maybe we should ask him to moooove it along?”

Not surprisingly, the spoof ends with her changing the car radio to a bouncy dance tune and performing some of her trademark dance moves.

NUPTIALS NEWS

Fresh details on next Monday’s wedding of George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin in Venice have emerged. CTV News reports that the actor will wear a tux by Giorgio Armani while Alamuddin has her choice between gowns by Stella McCartney and Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen. Clooney’s best man will likely be his longtime friend Rande Gerber and the ceremony will be performed by former mayor of Rome Walter Veltroni. The celebrity guest list is expected to include Matt Damon, Bono, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Source: CTV News

HULK SMASH

Hulk Hogan has reportedly ordered that his new Florida restaurant abandon its racist dress code. Earlier this week, TMZ reported that the recently opened Tampa eatery Hogan’s Beach had a sign banning customers wearing “low hanging pants,” “skull caps” and “oversized jewellery.” On Thursday, Hogan told TMZ that he is not a racist and claimed he had phoned the restaurant’s managers to instruct them to take down the sign.

Source: TMZ

NEW MUSIC

The Who have released their first song in eight years. The single Be Lucky is included on a new greatest hits collection from the seminal British rockers slated for release on Nov. 3. The new song makes reference to Aussie rock group AC/DC and delivers a nod to Grammy-winning French group Daft Punk with the lyrics, “You want to climb without a safety line/Daft Punk will tell you that it’s gonna be fine.”

Source: CTV News

LITTLE SNOOKI

Nicole (Snooki) Polizzi has given birth to her second child. The former Jersey Shore star gave birth to a daughter on Friday morning and told the world with her tweet, “So happy to let you know we had our beautiful daughter this morning Giovanna Marie LaValle. 6.7 lbs, full head of black hair & perfect.” Polizzi and fiancée Jionni LaValle are already parents to two-year-old son Lorenzo Dominic.

Source: People

SAFETY LESSON

For those people who thought Google Glass would cut down on distracted-driving accidents, guess again. The first study of driving while texting with the hands-free device has revealed it’s no safer than driving while using a smartphone. The University of Central Florida study put 40 participants into a driving simulator where they texted while using Google Glass eyewear and a standard smartphone. The results showed near-identical rates of accident occurrence. In fact, the smartphone users actually put more space than Google Glass users between their car and the simulated car driving in front of them.

Source: Reuters