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Illustration by Wenting Li
You must be joking, I thought. At 70 years old, the last thing I was thinking about was having someone take my picture in my birthday suit – no matter what my friends were suggesting. Would I have to hold my stomach in all the time? Having children does not lend itself to a flat belly. What about my breasts? They too have seen better days. Gravity seems to take hold once you get to 50, not to mention grey hair, wrinkles and scars.
Two of my close female relatives told me about their boudoir photography sessions. They raved about how it made them feel good about their bodies and how it was a positive experience. The photographer helped them feel empowered and beautiful, and told them how you should love yourself and your body, and feel good about it. The photographer used a self-love mantra to encourage them to love their body and all it does.
So should I sign up? Could I do this? What would my children think? My husband?
At 70 one looks back at the changes you’ve lived through. When I was in high school, girls were not allowed to wear pants to school! I can’t believe we didn’t complain and revolt. Once I graduated there were three options – nurse, teacher or secretary. I never really thought about challenging that either. At university, a few of us wanted to go on the pill but finding a doctor wasn’t easy. We started at the As in the phone book until we could find a doctor who would say yes. We found him by the time we got to last names starting with H. It was said then that university was where women went to find a husband, really? Well, I found one but that didn’t quite work out so well. I’ve found a couple more since then and they just keep getting better and better.
Speaking of which, I haven’t told him yet. Things have changed. I don’t question what I can do and what I choose to do. I just do!
So maybe I could choose to have naked photos taken of me. But then what would I do with them? Sure, my husband would enjoy the photos but can you imagine saying over tea to some similar-aged friend, “Would you like to see some boudoir photos of me?” Or, “Guess what I got up to during COVID-19!”
So what was I thinking that day? What is important to know is that it doesn’t matter what kind of a body you have – we all have doubts about ourselves and especially our bodies. We tend to compare ourselves to others and we rarely emerge on top in that comparison.
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So I did it! I signed up with the photographer. I had a short interview with her and set the date. There was a questionnaire to fill out: Why am I doing this? I’m 70, curious and want to try a new experience. How comfortable am I with nudity? I think I’m okay with celebrating my full self. Would you want to share these photos online? That, I will have to think about!
Waiting a month for the boudoir photo shoot gave me so much time to question my decision. What would the photographer have me do? It is often the things you don’t do that you regret. I want to die knowing that I had few, if any, regrets.
On picture day, I found the studio in an old office building. The set was decorated as a boudoir with bed, sofa and chaise longue. The photographer made me feel at ease and safe. Her job was to support me 100 per cent. My job was to explore and celebrate me. The first step involved sitting for a professional to do my makeup and hair. I hadn’t worn makeup since I retired. And my hair was short. What could they do with my short crop? Along the way, I was constantly asked, “Is this okay? Are you happy with this? Would you like more or less makeup?” It was very reassuring and I started to look a lot less than seven decades.
The photographer reassured me, “Boudoir is an amazingly empowering experience and a tool for self-healing – it can be so much more than just a gallery of sexy photos.” She related it to bungee jumping: I was taking the leap and she was the rope to catch me.
I had chosen to wear a sexy bra and undies for most of the shots. I saved the nude images for the last photos. The photographer made sure I was comfortable and asked what I would like. But not having done this before, I wasn’t sure. She offered suggestions and poses. As the camera clicked, the atmosphere was casual, and we were laughing and relaxed. Well, I was as relaxed as I can be wearing lingerie. She told me I was beautiful and what a great job I was doing. A couple of hours later we were done. I returned later to see the almost 600 photos, narrowed down to about 150 to choose from; I picked 10.
It is hard to explain the feeling of looking at yourself with little clothing and feeling so amazingly proud. I look healthy, confident, happy and …. sexy. Will I show these to my friends? I haven’t decided that yet but I have told my adult children, who have promised to display the photos at my funeral. That ought to cause a little conversation. I hope so.
Mary G lives in Victoria.
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