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Having company over can be a stressful and expensive endeavour, but don't fret. Laura Calder offers 10 ideas for entertaining that won't weigh you or your budget down

December is one of the most inviting months of the year. The holiday spirit seems to infect everyone, as out come the twinkling lights, the boxes and bows, the sudden attempts at terrines and candied fruit. And, of course, certain pressures. But any stress is not what to focus on. Of course things can get chaotic, what with cocktail parties piling up on top of school concerts, but we must embrace the festive feeling because we're going to need its positive rippling effects to get us through the hard, cold months that follow.

My husband, Peter, once admitted to me that sometimes coming home from work he groans at the thought of a dinner party lying ahead of him. Once it's in full swing, though, suddenly he finds himself energized and grateful that everyone is there. It's like not wanting to exercise, but then forcing yourself into your runners anyway and feeling utterly exhilarated afterward. "Just do it" (to steal from Nike) is an equally good motto for any would-be host.

Besides, hosting is healthy for us. It's amazing what we'll put up with when we're home alone (cereal for supper, heaps of shoes in the front hall), but as soon as we realize people are coming over, we leap up, fix our hair, whizz around with the vacuum, set the table and ultimately become the ones who benefit more than anyone. It's morale-boosting.

However you choose to entertain, remember above all that what people are looking for most this time of year – if not always – is a warm welcome, a sense of belonging and love. Put that thought at the top of your list and let it be the star that guides you into the new year.

BYOB

You're obviously not going to throw a dinner party and have everyone sit with their own bottle like a circle of Dickensian down-and-outers around a fire in a back alley. One tricky aspect of the Bring Your Own Bottle principle at a party proper is that it very often results in a tableful of plonk.

Keep this in mind if you're a guest: Never show up with a bottle of wine that you yourself wouldn't drink with pleasure.

The ever-so-retro potluck

Once fashionable, the humble potluck has fallen out of favour. In case you're of a generation that's never even heard the term, a potluck is a gathering for a meal to which everyone contributes a dish. The dishes are arranged buffet-style on a table and people help themselves, usually sitting around a room with plates in their laps rather than at a dining table. When you're the one playing host, it's good to plan on one anchoring dish (a pot of chili or pasta), tell people what it is, and let them bring things to flesh out the feast, such as salads, appetizers or desserts. When you're playing guest, think of something as universally pleasing as you can, and make it nice (i.e., no showing up with a plastic tub of hummus from the grocery store and those so-called carrots that taste like pressed wood).

Picnics

I had a friend in Paris who was a brilliant organizer of picnics. He set a very smart tone: no plastic, no packaged foods, no pizza, no pop. … He had rules. Everyone had to show up with a dish to share, plus china, cutlery and glasses for themselves, as well as wine. These were (are still) legendary picnics, always set in a gorgeous location, such as overlooking the Seine or in a Roman arena. If you really want to come off as host extraordinaire, you might organize some games; bring along some Frisbees perhaps, or a stick for playing limbo; bubbles for blowing, or boules or a croquet set.

Cheap/creative cuts

Just because we're having guests doesn't mean we have to pull out all the stops with lobster, a giant côte de boeuf, caviar or what have you. When we're tight on pennies, it's time to remember the joys of legumes, the decadence of pork belly, the possibilities of tinned fish. … Having a lot of money to spend in life may make decision-making easier, but it can also allow the muscles of our imagination to go slack for lack of challenge. We must never let the need to be frugal get us down; rather, let circumstances inspire originality.

Go meat-free

Especially in this day and age, vegetarian cooking is more than acceptable for entertaining. In fact, it's a useful way to cook all round because it sidesteps a lot of people's phobias and allergies. Vegetables aren't necessarily cheap (although you can whip up a coleslaw for not much), but starches and grains do tend to be, especially if you buy them in bulk from ethnic shops. A chickpea curry on rice, a meatless ragout, a platter of various baked potatoes with different toppings, a big lentil soup, omelettes – with a little thought out of the box, it's possible to feed quite a crowd for no more than you'd pay for a single main course in a mediocre restaurant.

Sunday breakfast

You see what brunch costs in restaurants – and how full those restaurants routinely are – so obviously the idea of socializing over food in the morning is attractive to many people. Since that appears to be the case, why shouldn't we all feel fine about inviting a handful of friends over for breakfast chez nous, rather than organizing an elaborate evening? Breakfast can cost peanuts (no alcohol required, although I may be speaking for myself there, so perhaps be prepared, just in case, with some bubbles to add to the O.J.), but still makes us givers. You can serve only pancakes, or only oatmeal, or go full on and serve bacon and eggs with toast. (Friends of ours once added a board of French pastries – a much appreciated touch, but only if you have the budget.) It's sort of fun to be all rather truck-stop about it, with a full pot of coffee ever at the ready.

Focus a meal on an activity

There was an era on new year's festivities during which my parents, as a way of including the teenagers, used to organize an afternoon hike, followed by a feast of lasagna, salad and trifle before launching into an evening game of Dictionary to get us through to the fireworks. By planning a get-together around an activity – a baseball game, a treasure hunt, a barbershop quartet – pressure can be taken off the meal itself. Any food and drink is secondary and can be minimal, as long as it's nice: a corn boil, a cookie and lemonade stand, hot chocolate and cake – you get the idea.

Co-host

If you share mutual friends with another person, you can always team up and do a joint dinner, splitting the bill in two and at the same time seeing everyone you both want to see. Just be sure that the guests know it's a joint effort. That way the person whose house the hosting happens in doesn't get all the credit, which can happen. Also, be sure that you and your co-host agree completely on your spending limit, otherwise you may find yourself with a bill that makes you reach immediately for the smelling salts.

Peasant night

Call it like it is. There is a vast repertoire of dishes from all around the globe that come from peasant traditions but that don't carry a negative stigma. Think of minestrone, burritos, corned beef and cabbage, baked beans, meatloaf. Just because they're inexpensive doesn't mean they aren't delicious. If you need to do a night on the cheap, why not work it right into your invitation and have fun with it? Tell guests to dress down (or maybe even in costume). Serve wine (or beer) out of tumblers.

Tea or coffee

Ah, the democratic pleasures of tea and coffee, those universal drinks beloved of all the classes. They barely merit a mention and certainly don't require much explanation. Make a pot of either tea or coffee, set out a few cookies on a pretty plate, et voilà! See? Being broke doesn't mean we can't host.

Excerpted from The Inviting Life: An Inspirational Guide to Homemaking, Hosting and Opening the Door to Happiness. Copyright © 2017 Laura Calder. Published by Appetite by Random House, a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited. Reproduced by arrangement with the publisher. All rights reserved.