Ah, cottage life – walks in the woods, cannonballs off the dock, hammocks in the shade, corn on the grill, drinks in the afternoon, family face time instead of Facebook (because #SorryKidsNoWiFi).
I am not the baron of a lakeside retreat, but I can offer a vital statistic or two to help a renter avoid a nightmare: a) some cottage landlords bafflingly feel uncompelled to equip their properties with a corkscrew (or at least in a place where one is likely to search until the last day of the stay); and b) if you're like me, your chances of winding up at such a place are about as high as finding the propane tank empty the moment you toss a few pricy dry-aged strip loins on the grill.
Pack a corkscrew. And tie it to a big piece of buoyant driftwood as though it were a service-station restroom key. Also, inquire beforehand about the nearest propane retailer and bring a disposable lighter. With luck, you won't need the latter to ignite the Weber but it will come in handy when you also discover there's no bottle opener in the joint. (Google "how to open a beer bottle with a lighter" if you haven't mastered the most important wilderness survival skill they don't teach in Boy Scouts.)
For absent-minded vacationers like me, cottage living has of course been revolutionized by twist tops for most beers and many fine wines. But discerning drinkers shouldn't have to let packaging determine their beverage choices. You'll want to bring refreshments that resonate with the food, taste lively in the open air and offer a modicum of sophistication without clashing ostentatiously with the rustic surroundings like a sequin lace ball gown around the campfire. In other words, leave the plonk, and the Petrus, at home.
Suds-wise, I'm a fan of wheat beers for summer. Bottled without filtration, these hazy-golden brews typically come with a bright, dry citrus essence and food-friendly overtones of coriander and clove. Alternatively, a saison beer from your favourite craft brewery might be nice. It's based on a refreshingly fruity-spicy pale ale style originally made for summer farm workers, or saisonnieres, in Belgium.
Wine-wise, you might want to consider punchy riesling or grassy sauvignon blanc, though my top choice for lazy sun-baked days is dry rosé, often redolent of fresh strawberries and wild herbs. Pink wines can be brilliant on their own and even sing a happy tune with grilled meats. If red is your colour, consider light, crisp gamay (tasty when slightly chilled) or peppery French syrah. They're both more invigorating than mellow merlot or heavy cabernet sauvignon. For what it's worth, my offbeat favourite for grilled red meats in the pine-scented outdoors is Chilean carmenere, a love-it-or-loathe-it gutsy red with a bracing herbal spine. Hashtag: #HandMeTheCorkscrew.
Muskoka Brewery Moonlight Kettle Summer Saison (Ontario)
SCORE: 92 PRICE: $8.95/750 ml
In Bracebridge, in the heart of Ontario cottage country, the restless minds at Muskoka Brewery have taken to conjuring up recipes late at night, hence the name Moonlight Kettle for a new series of limited-release products. A great brew this is, inspired by the Belgian farmhouse style known as saison. Clear coppery orange, it's medium-bodied and creamy yet crisp, with firm bitterness and notes of licorice, spice, peaches and bananas. Bottled at 7.3-per-cent alcohol. Available at the brewery retail store and select LCBO stores in Ontario.
Tree Brewing Mellow Moon Pineapple Hefeweizen (British Columbia)
SCORE: 91 PRICE: $11.79/6-pack in B.C.
A limited-edition wheat ale brewed for summer, this is beer with a happy face. Cloudy golden in colour, it's big on pineapple and dry, with crisp grapefruit in the mix as well as a note of yeasty bread and a light kick of clove. A moon to keep you mellow under the hot sun.
Tawse Limestone Ridge Riesling 2013 (Niagara)
SCORE: 91 PRICE: $21.95
Let's call this off-dry, but the brilliant acidity supplies welcome tension to give it a dry impression. Light, fresh and lively, it's a basket of fresh peaches and apples, with a hint of stone-like minerality. At just 10-per-cent alcohol, it's a great white for any time sipping. Farmed from an organic vineyard. Available direct from the estate, Tawsewinery.ca.
Bench 1775 Glow 2014 (British Columbia)
SCORE: 91 PRICE: $23
A blend of malbec, merlot, syrah and cabernet franc, this glows with a light salmon-pink hue that would be familiar to fans of Provencal rose. And the flavour could be favourably compared with that classic style. Dry and light-medium-bodied, it's layered with notes of zesty citrus, strawberry, watermelon and mineral. Available direct from the winery, www.bench1775.com.
Montes Alpha Carmenere 2012 (Chile)
SCORE: 90 PRICE: $19.95
The texture is smooth and the concentration substantial, with the sort of dense dark-fruit character that wants to say "come hither" to the nearest medium-rare steak. But there's also a strong herbal-spicy-smoky quality to this full-bodied, cottage-friendly red that impresses your senses (even downwind from backed-up septic tank). $22.51 in Man.
Michel Gassier Les Piliers Syrah 2012 (France)
SCORE: 89 PRICE: $18.95
Made from the same grape as Australian shiraz but as distinct from that jammy style as foie gras from vegemite. On the lighter side of full-bodied, it's juicy and comes across like wild Canadian blueberries infused with cracked pepper, herbs and smoked meat.
Colome Torrontes 2013 (Argentina)
SCORE: 89 PRICE: $13.95
Here's a bracingly tart, strongly floral and spicy rendition of Argentina's signature white grape, with flavours of white table grape, grapefruit rind and ginger on a light, lively frame. Various prices in Alta., $17.15 in Que.
Casas del Bosque Reserva Sauvignon Blanc 2014 (Chile)
SCORE: 89 PRICE: $13.95
This is like coming face to face with a 500-pound grapefruit. Casas del Bosque makes punchy sauvignon blanc on a par with most examples from New Zealand. Lightweight despite its big flavour, it's as refreshing as a dip in a Canadian lake, richly textured yet very dry, with aromatic lemongrass and fresh herb sprigs skewered into that giant citrus. $14.99 in B.C., various prices in Alta.