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Still satisfied with sex? Your questions answered Add to ...

1:38 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]

I'd also advise NOT waiting until nighttime to have sex. We're all exhausted then. Try and sneak in a quick encounter earlier in the day when you have more energy. Also, communicate with your partner about this. Keep them in the loop, otherwise they may feel hurt and confused about what's going on.

1:39 [Comment From Guy ]

Robin, my wife and I are 50 years old. We have never enjoyed a better sex life than we do now. I have your show "Sex Toys and Chocolate" to thank in part for that. I learned a lot about what is 'normal' in a healthy sexual relationship. Unfortunately, the show was aimed at a much younger audience. What is the possibility of a show aimed at the rest of us - the married and/or older sexually active generation? Has anyone approached you about this?

1:40 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]

Hi Guy! I wish they had! I'm often a guest on the Steven and Chris show on CBC, which targets older persons. I hear that a lot, though. Any TV producers out there, look me up!

1:40 [Comment From looker ]

My wife and I 28 and 29, we have a two year old daughter, another one on the way and are building a house. What can we do to maintain a level of intimacy that is beneficial for both of us? And not necesarrily have sex, just intimate time together?

1:43 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]

That's a wonderful question, looker. You are wise to realise that it's not all about sex. The sexual passion will come and go in a relationship, but you have to keep the intimacy bond strong in order to weather the tougher times. I can imagine with one child, one on the way, building a house, there are a lot of stresses on your relationship. But the fact that you are asking that question suggests to me that you will make it just fine. When I was pregnant with our first child, I used to say to myself, "We are the primary dyad! We are the primary dyad!" (a little nerdy, I know, but it meant to me that I have to take care of my couple relationship first - if my husband and I aren't strong, we aren't any good to the kids). So find ways to connect with your wife without the kids (especially before number two is born - believe me - we just had a second and it changes everything!!!!).

1:45 [Comment From whatsenough ]

Hi there... I know there is no right answer to this question, but I'm hoping I can get some guidance. How does one handle completely out of whack sex drives? For instance, I'm good with a couple times a week, whereas my partner is pretty much only satisfied with a couple times a day/night. It's too much, and I'm becoming to lose interest because it's "boring" - not so much the act, but this constant need that he seems to have. He also watches porn daily, which I think contributes to his high libido. It's difficult for me as well, because I feel its an expectation that I can't live up to, even though he tells me it's only me he desires, but looks at porn to "get the job done". HELP! This is really affecting our relationship.

1:49 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]

I can imagine this is hard on your relationship, whatsenough. Having sex a couple times a day is hard to maintain! Finding the time, energy, interest.... Have you asked him where he things his desire comes from? Is he troubled by it? Is it getting in the way of his life (e.g., job, other relationships)? He may want to talk with someone (e.g., a therapist) about this if he feels like his desire and/or porn use is out of control. You have the right to set limits on your sexual activity and to not have sex when it is beyond your comfort level. Perhaps he can "get the job done" on his own a certain number of times per week and then have a lesser number of encounters with you. You want to feel special, cherished, and desired, not just that you are an object that is helping him to get his needs met. If you can communicate that - that quality, not quantity, is important to you, hopefully you can find some middle ground.

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