Skip to main content

Debra and Mike.

no credit

Match profiles an interesting couple each week. Interested in being featured? Share your story at match@globeandmail.com

For Debra Dolan and Mike Frizell, loves means never having to say ‘see you at our place.’ How a solid friendship blossomed into an unconventional romance.

Who: Debra Dolan, 59, administrator on long-term disability. Mike Frizell, 63, retired electrician.

Story continues below advertisement

Relationship status: Unmarried since 2001.

Location: Vancouver.

An administrator and a gentleman

Debra: We met one day when Mike came in to do a fire alarm inspection at the faculty of commerce where I was working. I was instantly attracted. I even dropped a few hints about being single, but nothing. Several months later, I was dating someone who invited me to his friend’s dinner party and the friend was Mike!

Mike: I was going through a divorce at the time and Debra was just someone I really enjoyed talking to. She had also been through a tough breakup. It was like First World War vets talking about unhappy, far off times. We developed a bond.

Debra: I always had a history of getting involved way too early. I don’t think I’d ever really been friends with a man before we were intimate.

Mike: I’m a gentleman.

Debra: He always says that!

Story continues below advertisement

On poetry and pornography

Debra: Previously the men I had dated were what you would call “big dancers.” Charming, but a bit too suave. The first time Mike came to my house he brought a bunch of bananas.

Mike: I thought of it like a banana bouquet.

Debra: A few months in, we went away for our first weekend. We were driving to Victoria, and Mike pulled into a garage sale. I was thinking, really buddy? This is our dirty weekend!

Mike: I really love garage sales. And then it turns out this wasn’t just any garage sale

Debra: It was Susan Musgrave’s house! The Canadian poet. She helped me through my deepest, darkest teenage hours.

Mike: When we told her it was our first weekend away, she gave us a porn video. We’re not making this up!

Story continues below advertisement

Living apart together

Debra: One of the things we both agreed on early on is that we didn’t want to combine finances. And we didn’t want to get married. If we had met earlier and wanted to start a family, maybe we would have felt differently.

Mike: I have three children so my thoughts are toward leaving them an inheritance. We just thought, why complicate things?

Debra: I feel like I like Mike too much to marry him. I have a home in a funky part of town and Mike’s place is like being out in the country.

Mike: Every so often we will test the limits of our patience by “moving in together,” but we both enjoy having our own space.

Debra: I have gone through some significant health issues and Mike has been so wonderful. I love that it feels like we make a choice to be together, so that I’m not worrying that he feels sorry for me or feels obliged. He’s free to go.

Mike: It’s still early in the evening. Ha!

Report an error Editorial code of conduct
Comments

Welcome to The Globe and Mail’s comment community. This is a space where subscribers can engage with each other and Globe staff. Non-subscribers can read and sort comments but will not be able to engage with them in any way. Click here to subscribe.

If you would like to write a letter to the editor, please forward it to letters@globeandmail.com. Readers can also interact with The Globe on Facebook and Twitter .

Welcome to The Globe and Mail’s comment community. This is a space where subscribers can engage with each other and Globe staff. Non-subscribers can read and sort comments but will not be able to engage with them in any way. Click here to subscribe.

If you would like to write a letter to the editor, please forward it to letters@globeandmail.com. Readers can also interact with The Globe on Facebook and Twitter .

Welcome to The Globe and Mail’s comment community. This is a space where subscribers can engage with each other and Globe staff.

We aim to create a safe and valuable space for discussion and debate. That means:

  • All comments will be reviewed by one or more moderators before being posted to the site. This should only take a few moments.
  • Treat others as you wish to be treated
  • Criticize ideas, not people
  • Stay on topic
  • Avoid the use of toxic and offensive language
  • Flag bad behaviour

Comments that violate our community guidelines will be removed. Commenters who repeatedly violate community guidelines may be suspended, causing them to temporarily lose their ability to engage with comments.

Read our community guidelines here

Discussion loading ...

Due to technical reasons, we have temporarily removed commenting from our articles. We hope to have this fixed soon. Thank you for your patience. If you are looking to give feedback on our new site, please send it along to feedback@globeandmail.com. If you want to write a letter to the editor, please forward to letters@globeandmail.com.
Cannabis pro newsletter