"You're looking sharp. You're looking good. You've come so far. And we know how to make the most of who you are. …"
Remember Gillette's " the best a man can get" razor commercials from the eighties? Well, grooming no longer stops at the neck for guys who want to look their best. Turns out hot wax, muslin strips and a high pain tolerance aren't just for women any more: According to The New York Times, more and more men are choosing to keep their nether parts as hairless as the day they were born.
"What we're finding is, it's everybody," said Mike Indursky, president of the Bliss chain of spas (founded by Canadian Marcia Kilgore). "It's the gay community, it's the straight community, it's very conservative guys, it's very liberal guys. All different age groups are coming in. It's much, much bigger than we ever thought."
The New York Times quotes a men's grooming expert who has been giving himself Brazilians (or, if you prefer, manzilians or boyzilians) for 12 years. "It's routine for me now," Pirooz Sarshar said. "I do the whole thing myself. I feel better, it looks better. I feel like I'm cleaner, and it's more sanitary."
It's also an example of gender parity that old-time feminists never saw coming. Welcome to 2012, when porn may be influencing both sexes to remove pubic hair at all costs (Bliss's Ultimate He-Wax is $125 U.S.). "Most of the guys in these videos were completely bald, as were the girls, so we all experimented," 23-year-old Peter Walters said in a Daily Beast story about the emergence of "manscaping."
So why do human beings, alone among mammals, still have pubic hair? According to a theory published in 2009 in the Journal of Biology, pubic hair developed as a sexual ornament after our ancestors lost other body hair. "The bushier and coarser it became, the more attractive you were," British virologist Robin Weiss suggested.
Have we evolved beyond needing hair down there to appeal to the opposite sex? If you're looking for NSFW proof that size matters more than brains, deforesting the full monty is also a way to draw attention to the main attraction. Balder, it seems, means bigger for today's metrosexuals.
Do you find the notion of a manicured nether region on a man attractive?