As former Lululemon CEO Christine Day announced her departure from the famous yoga retailer, she said the company will be fine without her: "I am not the culture of Lululemon," she told reporters. "Everyone is the culture of Lululemon."
For a window into what that culture is all about, a new job posting for her replacement CEO reveals a New Agey workplace with a serious dose of pop-culture hipsterism. The new CEO will "communicate powerfully, often through Sanskrit," be "disciplined, focused and can hold headstand for at least 10 minutes" and "break all the rules like getting your OM-on (loudly) whenever the urge arises."
In case you're not sure what a CEO does, and/or you're a teenager, the job description will clear it right up for you: "You report to no one, you are the CEO (duh). You are passionate about doing chief executive officer type stuff like making decisions, having a vision and being the head boss person."
If you're hoping to step into Day's yogi sandals, though, be forewarned: You've better be up on your Napoleon Dynamite and Bachelor references and ready to do the odd tequila shot with all that wheatgrass. It says it right there.
Some outright celebrity worship doesn't hurt, either. The future CEO will have Lululemon founder Chip Wilson on speed dial, along with "Bill Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah Winfrey."
For a company that's experiencing some turbulance after an embarrassing recall of see-through yoga pants, you might expect a mention of needing a long-term strategy ace. But the job description merely suggests the winning candidate will be a "long-term thinker. You already have a plan to bring yoga and luon to Mars by 2018." Luon is the fabric those recalled pants were made from, in case you're not up on your yoga-gear neologisms.
Of course, this job posting is a breath of fresh air compared to most corporate-speak job postings. And Lululemon didn't come to dominate your yoga class by being boring. Would that all human-resources departments have a little more fun.
In an e-mail, a Lululemon spokesperson confirms the company's aim was strictly pleasure in regards to their job description. "We've always been a fun and irreverent brand and love that our stores and social media teams are not afraid to spark a conversation in our communities."
So, let's refrain from judging while we wait in eager anticipation for profiles of the new CEO, wherein he or she does a handstand or speed-dials Clinton during an interview to show the chops that sealed the deal.
And oh, if you're interested, you can, like, apply online.