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How long does it take to get over emotional trauma? Longer than you think Add to ...

You’ve recently gotten out of a relationship, or maybe you lost a job. How long is acceptable to spend getting over it?

The answer might surprise you.

A Wall Street Journal article addresses the issue, and cites experts as saying two years isn’t too long to expect the process to take.

Initial reaction: Really? That long? Whatever happened to throwing yourself into new activities, meeting new people, moving forward?

Apparently those can be harmful.Columnist Elizabeth Bernstein argues that it’s better to give yourself an allotted amount of grieving time so that you process your emotions and think rationally. She cites experts saying it’s normal to feel depressed and distracted during this time. They say rushing through the recovery will just delay the inevitable, because at some point, everyone needs to grieve.

“To help yourself get through the process, accept that there is nothing wrong with you, even if your emotions feel overwhelming. Remind yourself that this period will end. Tell your friends and family that while you may not be your typical self for a while, you still need their support and you will recover,” Bernstein writes.

She also recommends not jumping ship and moving to a new city (which would be my preferred method of coping).

Staying where you are and dealing with your problems should lead to a happier, healthier you – and make sure you don’t start a new relationship or job with those bitter feelings still lingering.

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