Go ahead, kiss and make up. But read on before you go any further than that.
Make-up sex is a big no-no, according to Seth Meyers, a clinical psychologist with the L.A. County Department of Mental Health. Dr. Meyers makes the case against sex after fighting in a blog post on Psychology Today.
He warns that make-up sex rewards arguments and emotional drama. “Think about it: If you have amazing sex after you have a huge fight, doesn’t it make sense to fight again when the reward is so great?” Dr. Meyers writes.
He adds that make-up sex isn’t about achieving greater intimacy and trust, which is the goal in healthy relationships, but is motivated by the impulse to feel good after all the negative emotions during a fight. Or, as he puts it, “to feel the high that comes with making up.”
“Honestly, it’s not that different from an addict who needs a hit of cocaine,” Dr. Meyers writes. (Hooked on make-up sex? Who’d have thought?)
But the advice on make-up sex is mixed. Some sources actually encourage it.
“Not only can it be madly passionate, but it can also sustain intimacy during tough times,” Health magazine reported, advising couples to take advantage of the so-called “high” Dr. Meyers cautions about. “This rush can be a good substitute for foreplay, so you can get right to it.”
Men’s Health put make-up sex on its list of “ 8 Monumental Sexual Experiences You Must Have.”
And in response to Dr. Meyers’s blog, the website Gawker suggests that putting on the brakes as you’re about to have make-up sex will probably only lead to more fighting.
Regardless of whether you decide to have sex after a fight, Rita Wilson, another expert on Psychology Today, has this advice: “It doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong. What matters in relationships is that you go to bed with love instead of anger.”
What’s your take on make-up sex? Is it a good way to put a fight behind you, or does it just encourage more fighting?Report Typo/Error