Gee, can't a poor girl enjoy even the shortest of honeymoon periods before the baby burden begins? Not if the newlywed in question is Kate Middleton, who, Vanity Fair proudly reported in a cover story this week, put in a special order for Brussels sprouts on her two-week getaway, presumably to kick-start the making of a future king. (Brussels sprouts are rich in folic acid, which is good for pregnant moms.)
From bookies to political leaders, everyone's watching for signs of a baby bump; really, the countdown began the moment the young royals kissed on the balcony. This week, to mark their return home, the couple was presented with a "love nut" courtesy of Seychelles President James Michel. The Coco de Mer nut is considered a powerful and rare aphrodisiac. (For a gander, click here. Warning: It's almost NSFW.)
News reports have also pointed out that should the new Duchess of Cambridge fail to produce an heir to the throne within the year, she will be the first royal to have fallen down on this all-important job in 200 years. William was born to Princess Diana 11 months after her vows to Prince Charles. The Queen squeaked Charles in just under the wire, six days before her first wedding anniversary.
Hardly a month as a bride, and already there are unsubstantiated whispers of trouble – as announced with a specious headline in a tabloid cover story last week, citing those convenient "royal insiders" as sources. (An article, which by the way, made no mention of Prince William's fertility status.)
As any woman trying to make a baby knows, there's nothing like a little pressure to stop nature from taking its course. Infertility, thanks in part to later marriages, is on the rise in the Western world. Perhaps we could shift our eyes away from the newest royal's belly to the more serious matters of educating young women about fertility, and whether treatments should be publicly funded to reduce high-risk pregnancies. Last year, Quebec became the first province to fund IVF, if the procedure was limited to one embryo at a time to reduce multiple births. Last week, fertility groups began petitioning for the same approach in Alberta, and there have been similar calls in Ontario.
Of course, Kate knew what she was signing up for when she married the future of King of England. On the bright side, at least, she's not in danger of being banished to the Tower of London – or worse.