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What's worse than snakes on a plane? Porn

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When you're cramped in an airplane for hours, entertainment options are limited. You can a) catch the latest Angelina Jolie dud, b) read with earplugs to block the sound of screaming kids, c) ponder Swarovski knickknacks in the seat-back magazine or d) make multiple bathroom trips in hopes of meeting the hottie in aisle 24.

But discount airline Ryanair has come up with a racy way to banish in-flight blahs: pay-per-view porn.

"Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?" Ryanair's CEO, Michael O'Leary, told the U.K. newspaper The Sun.

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Mr. O'Leary was quick to clarify that passengers would pay for smut using an Ryanair app and view it on their iPads or smartphones.

"I'm not talking about having it on screens on the back of seats for everyone to see. It would be on handheld devices."

Clearly, Mr. O'Leary isn't worried that kids might sneak a peek, or that devout passengers might be offended by all the heaving breathing.

Even so, no one can fault his business acumen. After all, iPhone porn is already available for download, at least on the down low. And there's nothing to stop a frequent flyer from loading up an iPad full of porn before takeoff.

But there's no denying that Mr. O'Leary's hotel analogy is bunk. As Gawker pointed out, hotels around the world have one thing that people on an airplane don't have: privacy.

And those airline toilets are already crowded enough.

Would you book a ticket on an airline that sold porn?

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About the Author

Adriana Barton is based in The Globe and Mail’s Vancouver bureau. Her article on growing up with counterculture parents is published in a McGraw-Hill anthology, right after an essay by Margaret Atwood. She wishes her last name didn’t start with B. More

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