The Christy Clark fall-election roulette wheel is in full spin.
Two MLAs have already fallen by the wayside as uncertainty grows over whether the wheel will stop on "yes" or "no," and there are rumours of significant caucus resistance to Ms. Clark making good on vows to seek an early mandate.
Enter the good ol' boy of B.C. politics: Bill Bennett .
He's not quite at it again. No recent e-mail bad-mouthings ("you will continue to be a self-inflated, pompous, American know-it-all") of constituents who take him to task, or colourful tales of wiping Gordon Campbell spittle from his face.
But even when he's the picture of restraint, the plain-spoken MLA is never less than frank. And he is not a big fan of a snap election.
In an Aug. 10 missive to local Kootenay East supporters, he wrote, "Whether or not we all feel like going to the polls is a fair question. I know most of my constituents are not keen for an election this fall. And frankly, I don't think there will be an election this fall."
Once this document slithered into my inbox, I couldn't help asking Mr. Bennett whether he had a special pipeline to the Premier, who seems far less pumped about a precipitous provincial poll than previously. Nope, said Bill. "That's my gut feeling. I have no material evidence."
Whatever Ms. Clark decides, however, he's in her corner. "Hey, she's listening [to caucus] That's definitely not the profile of the guy who was there before." Mr. Campbell, I presume.
Three jeers for LCLB
All hail B.C.'s Liquor Control and Licensing Branch. Thanks to its refusal to allow adults to consume alcohol beyond the ropes of a beer garden at next weekend's Whistler jazz festival, minors at the event are now protected from the perils of their parents sipping a glass or two of wine on the family blanket. Such wide-open drinking, permitted at similar events across Canada, is a risk to "public safety," the LCLB declared. And what is that mysterious risk? We now know.
In a response this week to aggrieved festival organizer Arnold Schwisberg, the LCLB's Cheryl Caldwell explains: "Restricting minors' access to liquor is an obvious public-safety issue meant to address their heightened vulnerability to car accidents, sexual assault and incidents of violence where alcohol is factor."
Yeah, I can see how jazz fans might get pretty hammered, and do all sorts of bad things under the influence of the demon rum. Of course, that doesn't happen at sports events, where fans are the height of decorum, never drink themselves silly, and are thus permitted by those same liquor authorities to drink wherever they want, with hordes of under-age kids in attendance.
Good on you, LCLB.
Blueberry banditry in Richmond
The Monty Python self-defence class in which John Cleese taught reluctant participants how to defend themselves against desperados armed with fresh fruit ("release the tiger") doesn't evoke much mirth among Richmond blueberry farmers.
They, too, are reeling from a criminal underclass that is aligning itself with fruit, namely blueberries. The antioxidant delights are being stolen.
A recent RCMP advisory observes that "fruit theft" is a big problem in the blueberry fields of Richmond. Worse, the berries are being stolen in a particularly dastardly way.
"Crops are being pilfered when no one is looking," warn the Mounties, which is about as low as blueberry banditry can get.
Corporal Sherrdean Turley feels the growers' pain. In a nice turn of phrase, he reminds one and all: "These thefts are upsetting for farmers, as they have put so much time and effort into growing their crop, only to find that their yield has been diminished by people that help themselves to their bounty." Shame!
Luckily, Cpl. Turley provides both a warning to the thieves – eating purloined berries that have just been sprayed can be hazardous to your health – and ways for farmers to protect themselves from crop crooks.
Fences help, as do planting 'thorny bushes…at vulnerable access points," says Cpl. Turley. But the best defense? "Have gravel driveways, so that thieves are unable to make a silent approach." If only someone had tried that on the Red Scorpions.
Still, I prefer a good old tripwire. Set it off, and a 16-tonne weight falls on your head.
Hoping to score some As
It's been a great summer out at lovely Nat Bailey Stadium. The hometown Canadians have been drawing huge crowds, fuelling hopes they might one day return to the exalted minor league ranks of Triple-A. Right now, the Cs are a lowly, Single-A outfit, forced into competition with the likes of Boise, Salem-Keizer, Yakima and the Tri-City Dust Devils.
How far is Vancouver down baseball's pecking order? Several players were transferred this week to the Lansing Lugnuts. It was considered a promotion.