As the negotiations continue to determine who will form the next B.C. provincial government, Green Party Leader Andrew Weaver meets with the B.C. Liberals at an undisclosed location. On the day's agenda: issues of concern to Lower Mainland residents.
Mike de Jong: Hey, Doctor Weaver, how's it going?
Weaver: Drop the "Doctor" crap, Mike. You know as well as I do it's a math degree. And where's Clark?
de Jong: Yeah, hey, sorry about that. Nobody's really seen her since election night a couple of weeks ago. She's texting us and stuff, but she's shut off location services. She's not part of the negotiating team anyway. So you get me instead, buddy, the former finance minister responsible for five consecutive balanced budgets! Boom!
Weaver: Please. Okay, let's get to it. Lower Mainland issues. The cap on tolls isn't going to fly. The Green Party wants road pricing – that includes tolls. We need to make them more fair – spread them out across all bridges and implement a congestion charge. It's the only way to manage traffic, reduce greenhouse gases and simultaneously generate revenue that could help fund public transit.
de Jong: Whoa, easy there, fella. We promised our corporate donors – many of whom sell cars, by the way – that we would only bring in a new tax or fee if people voted for it in a referendum.
Weaver: Yeah, well, that's dead. Do you understand what's going on here? I have all the power now, Mike. It's mine. Mine, I tell you! Wah, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ahem.
Also, we need to adopt the mayors' transportation plan.
de Jong: Lower Mainland mayors? The ones we've been vilifying for the past decade? That's a big ask, Andrew. I mean, we need someone to blame.
Weaver: Those days are over, Mike. We need to replace the Pattullo Bridge as well. Oh, and scrap the 10-lane bridge that you want to replace the Massey Tunnel. Or conduct a review of the project – but one that ends with the thing not being built.
de Jong: Now hold on. The Pattullo Bridge may be falling down, but that's TransLink's baby. That's on the mayors. And the new Massey Bridge – we're too far down the road to turn back now. We just re-did the highway signs telling people how awesome it's going to be.
Weaver: How dumb do I look, Mike? We all know the bridge is about getting bigger ships up the Fraser to move your fictional LNG. We also know it's nowhere near the point of no return. I won't let it happen.
Now let's talk about housing.
de Jong: Oy.
Weaver: We get rid of your first-time home buyers' loan scheme. It's putting people who can't afford houses into more debt and driving up the cost of anything below the $750,000 threshold. Instead we double the foreign buyer's tax and quadruple the property-transfer tax on houses worth more than three million. That ought to cool down the market.
de Jong: Geez, Andrew, you know how we feel about taxes. This is gonna put us in a tough bind. And getting rid of the loan thing? We just started it. We don't even know how much it's going to cost yet.
Weaver: Yes, well that doesn't matter, does it? Because it's dead. I just killed it. See how this works now? Now, let's talk affordable rental housing.
de Jong: What's that?
Weaver: Exactly. We want 4,000 new units every year – geared toward low-income working families. That's $750-million a year, by the way.
Receptionist: Sorry to interrupt, Andrew. Your 10:30 is here.
Weaver: Let's wrap this up, Mike. We'll talk more later. Be a chum and leave through the back door, if you don't mind.
de Jong: Uh, okie dokie. Before I go though, I'd just like to...
Weaver: Now, Mike.
de Jong: Okay. Sheesh.
Weaver: Send him in.
John Horgan: Well, hiya, Doctor Weaver – how ya doin' today?
Weaver: Don't "Doctor" me.
Stephen Quinn is the host of On the Coast on CBC Radio One, 690 AM and 88.1 FM in Vancouver.