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Today, the City of Vancouver celebrates one million cycle trips across the Burrard Bridge so far this year with a celebration station located at Burrard Bridge and Cornwall.

City of Vancouver Information Bulletin, Aug. 20, 2015

It is expected that the one-millionth cyclist will cross the Burrard Bridge some time between 7 and 10 p.m.

When this occurs, the bridge will be closed to vehicle traffic to allow a special recognition ceremony and celebration to take place.

Mayor Gregor Robertson and members of council will be on hand to congratulate the one-millionth cyclist and bestow upon them The Freedom of the City, Vancouver's most prestigious civic award. Certain rules and conditions apply.

1) The "one-millionth cyclist" will be determined by a digital counter installed on the bridge. This may not actually be the one-millionth cyclist, since the counter logs all cycle trips, but for the purposes of this award, the digital counter will stand as the sole determinant.

2) The City of Vancouver reserves the right to disqualify any cyclist not dressed in appropriate cycle gear, or who may be unfit or generally unattractive.

3) Cyclists not wearing helmets, or lacking appropriate safety gear, including front and rear lights, bells or a horn will not be considered for the award.

4) Winner must have a clean cycling record. Anyone previously ticketed for not wearing a helmet, running a red light, rolling through a stop sign or cycling on the sidewalk will be disqualified. Winner will be subject to a criminal record check and must not be in possession of a valid B.C. Driver's Licence. Any person who has been fined for a transit-fare violation will not be eligible.

5) Winner must submit to a mandatory drug test. In the event that significant levels of THC are detected, the winner must be able to prove that cannabis was used only for medicinal purposes. Methadone users will not be disqualified providing they are part of a provincially recognized methadone treatment program.

6) Winner must be a non-smoker.

7) Winner must agree to be photographed with the mayor and some members of council. This may include videotaped endorsements and/or testimonials that may be used for future political purposes and distributed via social media, radio and television. Winner must agree to deliver convincingly feel-good, pro-cycling sound bites such as: "This shows that when you build safe, protected bike lanes, people of all ages will come out and use them, which brings us closer to our goal of making Vancouver the greenest city in the world." These must be delivered while man-hugging the mayor.

8) If millionth trip is made on power-assisted or electric bicycle, rider will be declared ineligible. Recumbent bicycles and unicycles will also be disqualified. Because you look ridiculous.

9) Winner must be able to prove they voted Yes in the recent transit-funding referendum.

10) Winner must agree to erect a minimum of two large (4-foot-x-8-foot) Vision Vancouver lawn signs during the next municipal election. This may be negotiated should these signs exceed the square footage of the winner's living space.

11) While the Freedom of the City recognition is normally accompanied with a decal allowing the recipient to park for free at city gas meters, this benefit will not be awarded in this case, for obvious reasons of optics. In lieu of the lifetime free parking benefit, winner will receive two tickets to the Jon Bon Jovi show.

12) Winner must be able to answer the following skill testing question: If Train A leaves the station at 60 kilometres per hour, and one hour later, Train B leaves the station at 85 kilometres per hour, how great is Gregor Robertson?

Stephen Quinn is the host of On the Coast on CBC Radio One, 88.1 FM and 690 AM in Vancouver.