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Canada is zombie-free, Conservatives assure NDP

Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird responds to a question during question period in the House of Commons Wednesday February 13, 2013 in Ottawa.

Adrian Wyld/THE CANADIAN PRESS

Zombies on Parliament Hill have long been the bane of those who watch Canadian politics.

Now, in a case of life imitating art, Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird is assuring the House of Commons that Canada remains a zombie-free zone.

The odd exchange came during today's daily question period when NDP MP Pat Martin asked a tongue-in-cheek question about Quebec emergency preparedness plans premised on a zombie movie scenario.

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What, asked the Winnipeg MP, was Ottawa doing to prevent an international zombie apocalypse?

Baird rose to the occasion with an equally glib response, telling the House that he was "dead-icated" to ensuring Canada never becomes a safe haven for zombies.

But he couldn't resist resurrecting an undead Conservative talking point: the NDP's fictional carbon tax, which a smiling Baird said would raise the cost of zombie-related emergency provisions for all Canadians.

The full exchange:

Pat Martin:

Mr. Speaker, I rise today to salute the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta and the province of Quebec for putting in place emergency measures to deal with the possibility of an invasion of zombies. I do not need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies do not recognize borders and that a zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic if it is not contained.

On behalf of concerned Canadians everywhere, I want to ask the Minister of Foreign Affairs, is he working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy, so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?

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John Baird:

Mr. Speaker, I want to assure the member and all Canadians that I am dead-icated to ensuring that this never happens. I want to say categorically to this member and through him to all Canadians that under the leadership of this Prime Minister Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever.

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