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Darcy Michael of the Gayest Show on Earth

Vancouver's Darcy Michael, a hilarious man, is on the phone complaining about the weather in Peterborough, Ont., where's he sweating and visiting friends before he arrives in Toronto this week for a few performances. "The heat doesn't bother me as much as it bothered fat Darcy," he says, in his throaty rasp, "but I'm still dying."

The comedian, you see, is newly svelte, having lost 120 pounds (and his beard) in 18 months. But if he looks different and feels better, Mr. Michael has lost none of his funny. He offers what he calls his "snarky weight loss tips," for your consumption.

- A filling low-calorie meal is imperative. I would recommend hot sauce with toilet paper. It's the McDonald's for models.

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- You have to work out, no matter how tired you are. If you're too tired to go to the gym, that's why God invented Red Bull.

- If you eat a doughnut, you've got to walk it off. All jokes aside: It's diet and exercise. I love Boston cremes. The closest Tim Hortons to my house is 10 kilometres away. So, if I want it, I'm walking to get it.

The Gayest Show On Earth With Darcy Michael, a comical queer variety show, June 26 (with guests Trevor Boris and Gavin Crawford) and June 27 (Dawn Whitwell and Linda Ellis), 9 p.m. $20 to $25. Gladstone Melody Bar, 1214 Queen St. W., 416-531-4635 or gladstonehotel.com.

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