Barry Steenkamp listens to proceedings as former Paralympian Oscar Pistorius appears for sentencing for the murder of Reeva Steenkamp at the Pretoria High Court, South Africa June 14, 2016.Deaan Vivier/Reuters
Barry Steenkamp, father of the woman murdered by Oscar Pistorius, has testified for the first time of the devastating trauma that his family suffered and his belief that Mr. Pistorius must pay for his crime.
Mr. Steenkamp, tearful and shaking with emotion, said he has jabbed needles in his arm and stomach to try to feel the same pain that his daughter, Reeva, must have suffered on the night of her murder.
"She must have been in so much fear and so much pain over what she was going through," Mr. Steenkamp testified at the court sentencing hearing on Tuesday.
He also suggested Mr. Pistorius had an argument with Reeva before killing her, although the court has never upheld that version.
Mr. Steenkamp, 73, has suffered a stroke since his daughter's death. He has been in frail health and said he has become socially withdrawn. He and his wife, June, have never before testified in court.
He said he still thinks about his daughter all the time – "morning, noon, night and early hours of the morning" – and often hears his wife crying at night and trying to speak to Reeva.
"What happened to us devastated us," he said. "I wouldn't wish that on anybody in the world."
Mr. Pistorius, the former celebrity athlete known as the "Blade Runner" who became the first double-amputee to compete with regular athletes in the Olympics, shot his girlfriend four times through a bathroom door in February, 2013, and could face a prison term of up to 15 years for murder.
He has already served a year in prison on the original conviction for culpable homicide, but a higher court overturned the verdict last November and replaced it with a murder verdict.
Mr. Steenkamp said he and his wife were in "dire" financial straits at the time of the murder and were forced to accept a monthly payment of 6,500 rand (about $540) from Mr. Pistorius. The payments were supposed to be kept confidential, and Mr. Steenkamp said he was "disgusted" when the payments became public.
Although he and his wife have expressed forgiveness to Mr. Pistorius because of their Christian beliefs, Mr. Steenkamp said they don't believe he should be exonerated for the murder. He "must pay" for his crime, Mr. Steenkamp said.
The world should be allowed to see photos of his daughter after the shooting to help deter future crimes, he said.
Mr. Steenkamp said he would like to speak privately to Mr. Pistorius some day, but he is not ready yet.
Defence lawyer Barry Roux said there is "nothing" that Mr. Pistorius would like more than to talk to Reeva's parents when they are ready. Mr. Pistorius was not permitted to attend her funeral, and her parents have previously refused to meet him.
In other testimony on Tuesday, prison nurse Charlotte Mashabane said she felt "threatened" by Mr. Pistorius when he banged on her desk and shook angrily as he complained about his medical treatment in prison.
Geoffrey York