Hamed Nastoh was in Grade 9 when he climbed a ledge on the Pattulo Bridge one chilly March day and jumped to his death.
In a suicide note left for his parents, the 14-year-old said he could no longer handle the bullying and homophobic taunts he endured daily at Enver Creek Secondary School in Surrey.
That was six years ago.
I was reminded of Hamed's tragic death this week amid all the self-congratulatory back-slapping over the news the B.C. government intends to introduce gay and lesbian issues to the Grade 12 curriculum by 2007.
Of course, the move was not born of a fit of common sense. It was designed to avoid a costly court battle before the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal, which had agreed to hear a complaint by a gay couple that the province's high schools are guilty of systemic discrimination by not discussing sexual orientation as part of the curriculum.
In response, the Liberal government agreed to introduce the course, which will explore tolerance, especially as it relates to areas such as sexual orientation, race and changing family structures. The 37 independent high schools in the province, representing more than 9,300 students, will not be forced to make the curriculum available.
The course is being called the first of its kind in Canada. And if that is the case, it's pathetic. The move by the B.C. government doesn't go far enough. Not by a long shot.
First, the class is optional. And I can tell you right now, those who sign up for it aren't going to be the ones who need it most. They will be students who already have a developing social conscience, not the ones who have spent the past four years of high school belittling and humiliating people who are different from themselves.
It's optional for school districts, as well. All they are obliged to do is make the curriculum available. As it was explained to me by a ministry official, the new course is like Japanese: If there is enough interest, a class will be formed. Somehow, I just don't see a groundswell of student curiosity around a course that explores a topic such as tolerance. In the end it might only be offered by a handful of schools in the province.
But there's a bigger question.
Why is this course being offered in Grade 12, just as kids are readying to exit high school? It needs to be taught -- not offered as an optional alternative -- in Grade 8. Its content should probably be integrated into the school curriculum before that.
The homophobic taunting that compelled Hamed Nastoh to jump to his death six years ago happens every day in Canada. It happens in Grades 8, 9, 10.
It happens, we know, before Grade 8. And it's an intolerance that extends to a multitude of areas beyond sexual orientation.
We've known this for years, and yet in 2006 we are calling an "optional" Grade 12 course in British Columbia specifically addressing these issues "groundbreaking."
It's not groundbreaking; it's embarrassing.
Nasima Nastoh is not very impressed either. Hamed's mother says educating children about tolerance has to begin much earlier. Offering it in Grade 12, she says, is a waste of time, money and materials.
"How would that have helped the kids who were taunting Hamed?" Nasima said in a telephone interview from her home in Coquitlam.
She reads part of the suicide note left by her son.
"First thing is I love you mom and dad," the letter begins, "but you didn't understand why I had to commit suicide. There was so much going on and I tried to cope with it but I couldn't take it anymore. School is the main reason. It was horrible. Every day I was teased and teased.
"Everyone calling me gay, fag, queer and I would always act like it didn't bug me and [I]ignored them but I was crying inside.
"It hurt me so bad because I wasn't gay. And they kept on saying I was and I would pray to God every night for everyone to stop saying that . . .
"I didn't do this [commit suicide]so people will feel sorry for me. I did this because of them. All of the people at school. I want them to feel bad for the rest of their lives.
"I know you are going to miss me and that you will never forgive me but you would never understand. You weren't living my life. I wasn't as happy as I looked. I hate myself for doing this to you. I really, really hate myself. But there was no other way out for me.
"I know I left my room messy. You can clean it if you want. But please don't sell anything or throw anything away. Even though I will be dead I still want this room. It has to be my room. And don't take any pictures down. God this was a long note, I will wrap it up.
"I love you mom and dad. Please, please tell the people at school why I did this. I don't want any other kid to do what I did. This was a message to show what name-calling and teasing can do . . .Well this is the end . . . Please visit my grave often so I'm not lonely."
Maybe now you know why Nasima Nastoh isn't all excited about what the government is doing.
Nor should any of us be.
Gary Mason