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Graham Roumieu is a Canadian illustrator based in Toronto. His illustrations have appeared in the New York Times, Harpers, The Wall Street Journal and this paper. He is the author of a series of books including In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot, Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir and Bigfoot: I Not Dead.

The traditional flame relay torch is replaced with a seasonal affective disorder lamp. Onlookers line the long, cold, dark route with extension cords at the ready.

Opening ceremony athletes parade momentarily led by an online food delivery person trying to figure out who in the stadium ordered five kilos of fried cheese and a diet soda.

The winner of the marathon around the block for fresh air went for an apparent victory lap, but hasn’t been seen in days and is now suspected to have fled to a warmer part of the planet.

Competitors and organizers show up to an event venue, feel uncomfortable around others, make some awkward small talk, and go their separate ways.

The winner of the snow shovelling event is stripped of their medal for controversial social-media posts concerning an annoyingly chipper attitude about shovelling snow.

Perhaps the most iconic moment of the Games to date: A bobsledder left a busy supermarket, crossed the parking lot, got in their bobsled, rolled up the windows, turned on the radio, and had a little cry.

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