Patrick Graham, a freelance writer based in Toronto, lived with insurgents in Anbar Province after the American invasion of Iraq.
When Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced on Friday that Canada would send dozens of special forces 'advisers' to Iraq, it seemed a good idea to ask an Iraqi friend what advice he had for them. Iraq is not Afghanistan, clearly. It's more violent, more sinister, and much, much more complicated.
This cultural consultant has just the background needed to advise foreign advisers about fighting Iraqi insurgencies and terrorism. His extended Sunni family was deeply involved in both the anti-American insurgency in Fallujah and the tribal Awakening in which Iraqis and Americans together took on al-Qaeda. Later, he helped organize security for the governor of Anbar Province, which is now controlled by ISIS, the militants Canadians are being called in to help combat.
When I told the consultant we were sending between 50 and 100 troops to advise Kurdish fighters in northern Iraq for a 30-day period, his first reaction was to laugh, a deep guttural Iraqi sense of amused disbelief. He himself left Iraq a while ago and has little interest in returning and doesn't see why anyone else would want to, either.
When asked what the fighting was about he laughed again. From here, ISIS doesn't sound like a laughing matter. Foreign Minister John Baird has said we're sending Special Forces soldiers to defend our values. The coming Caliphate seems a very real possibility.
"It's a game, my friend, a game," the consultant said dismissively when I listed our reasons for going.
When asked to explain, he came up with a question: Why would a well-armed, decently trained Iraqi army with hundreds of thousands of soldiers – not to mention Special Forces, militias and police – fighting on its own turf be incapable of defeating 10,000 foreign fighters, disgruntled youth and a smattering of Saddam-era officers? In his opinion, the government in Baghdad and the Kurds in the north could defeat ISIS on their own but had decided it was advantageous to fall back. Whether it was a ruse designed to suck money and weapons out of western governments, particularly the Americans, or a complicated power play among various factions, he wasn't sure.
Beyond peering into the fog of conspiracy theories surrounding this war, the cultural consultant had a few pieces of advice on etiquette, the kind of thing T.E. Lawrence might have suggested to British troops arriving in this same area.
Take your gloves off when you shake hands. Don't sit with the balls of your feet pointing toward anyone. Take the tea, water and gifts that are offered – that is if you already trust the person. Avoid Iraqi women. Don't insult a man's moustache. Don't quit smoking before you go because you'll just start it up again. And be careful of your translators – they get bored and teach you the wrong words for fun.
And he offered a short primer of Iraqi terms for the flight over.
Ahlan wa Sahlan means welcome, the kind President George W. Bush said American troops would receive more than a decade ago but didn't.
Sadiq means friend, which you need a lot of in Iraq.
Habibi means my dear and is used often between friends, especially when someone wants something from you. Shaku maku is the Iraqi version of what's up or what's shaking.
Muqawama means the armed resistance against foreign occupation, the Iraqi way of saying Good Guys. By definition, anyone they are fighting is a Bad Guy, which puts visiting foreigner soldiers in a difficult position.
Diwan is the room where guests are invited to sit on cushions, drink tea and avoid pointing their feet at their hosts. It is the only room foreign males will see in an Iraqi home unless they kick down the door to get in.
Hallo, hallo is a term leftover from the British occupation during the last century that Iraqis sometimes use as a greeting. No doubt the Americans have left a few words during their time, too.
Wrongside is another Britishism, a driving instruction that tells you a lot about the local traffic patterns as in go wrongside from Ramadi and take a left at Fallujah.
Zmal means donkey, Iraqi slang for anyone considered an idiot and can be used affectionately among friends or cause serious problems with strangers. It is often used to describe foreigners, especially armed ones.
Intaqam means revenge. After more than a decade of massacres, uprisings and factional politics, payback explains a great deal about what is happening today.
With only a 30-day deployment, this shouldn't be too much to learn.