Graham James. CPThe Canadian Press
It would be terrible if the former junior hockey coach Graham James, convicted this week of sexually assaulting a second pair of teenage players, were allowed to create outsized fears that would ripple through communities across Canada.
Theo Fleury, the retired hockey star, was a victim of severe ongoing abuse by Mr. James between September, 1983, and August, 1985. He has been courageous in coming forward to discuss very painful issues, and has become an eloquent spokesman for child victims of sexual abuse. But when he said on Thursday that the lesson is that parents should always keep a close eye on their children, and not even drop them off at the rink for an hour or two while they go to the mall, he was pushing protection and worry too far.
Children need adults outside their immediate family and other relatives. They need experiences outside their parents' watchful eye. They need to learn how to become independent. There are many good, trustworthy people who have a great deal to offer children.
We have already seen a vast social change over the past 20 years. Parks, ravines and playgrounds once filled with children playing and exploring are now deserted. "I can't explain why we don't have children running around and enjoying their neighbourhoods," David Wolfe, who holds the RBC Chair in Children's Mental Health at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, says. The protection of children has also in some respects diminished or transformed childhood.
Sadly, Mr. Fleury is right when he says that abusers "infiltrate" programs that involve children. One 1992 study from British Columbia tracked 31 offenders and found they had abused an estimated 2,099 children – 70 each, on average. These weren't "monsters." They were dentists, ministers, music teachers, community leaders. And while they preyed on the vulnerable, one-third of their victims came from strong, intact homes. Any child can be vulnerable.
All parents need to be vigilant. But Graham James and other predators are a tiny minority next to the tens of thousands of adults involved in a healthy, positive way with children and teens.
Most institutions have put rules in place to limit contact or screen adults. At some school boards, anyone who volunteers to, say, read to a child, needs a police records check. Some girls' hockey leagues don't let men who aren't coaches, or a lone mother, into a dressing room. Within these parameters, parents have some freedom to bring their children into contact with the community of adults – occasionally dangerous, but more often engaging, trustworthy and with experience and wisdom to share.
Children are still vulnerable to predators, as Mr. Fleury says. But in our understandable rush to protect, we need to make sure the next 20 years don't become even more fearful and constrained.