MyDemocracy.con is an innovative way to take part in the conversation on electoral reform that you didn't know you were having. By answering a few questions, you can draw a picture of your democratic values based on a list of false equivalencies, fake alternatives and malevolent subliminal messages. You can share your results with friends, who will think you were an idiot for having take part in such a facile exercise.
As you answer the questions, remember that there are no wrong answers, because we don't care what you say. This is a different way of consulting Canadians – in the sense that we're not actually consulting anyone. We're just collecting data on our imposed preferences and sorting it by your demographic profile for unclear purposes. Thank you for participating.
Note: If you are under 16, don't worry – just pretend you are over 16. Be a 89-year-old man with a PhD who makes between $500,000-$999,999 a year as a stay-at-home parent, for all we care.
When Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said in his victory speech last year that the election he had just won would be the last under the first-past-the-post system, did you:
a) Wonder what the hell first-past-the-post is?
b) Cheer wildly knowing that Mr. Trudeau had just given himself an absolute mandate to change a fundamental aspect of our democracy based on election results he himself believes to be illegitimate?
c) See anything weird about that at all?
Please select the answer that most reflects your feelings about the following statement: Justin Trudeau only supported electoral reform in order to steal votes from the NDP in the 2015 election.
Now I get it.
Please select the answer that most reflects your feelings about the following statement: Proportional representation will lead to all kinds of extremist parties in Parliament (think: Nazis!) so let's just not go there, all right?
Since you put it like that...
That seems like a suggestive statement to make in a survey that is supposed to consult Canadians in a neutral fashion and not lead them to make conclusions about one electoral system versus another.
You wanted to end the first-past-the-post system because you were angry that Stephen Harper and the Conservatives won a majority with 39 per cent of the vote. Then Justin Trudeau won a majority with 39 per cent of the vote. Has that changed your opinion of the first-past-the-post system?
No, I still think first-past-the-post is great when my party wins.
Because it's 2016, amirite?
I still don't know what first-past-the-post means.
Which would you prefer: A government where one daring, inclusive party led by the hunky scion of a famous political family can make brilliant, groundbreaking decisions on its own OR Are you really going to make us keep that stupid promise about electoral reform and ruin everything? On second thought, don't answer that.
Which would you prefer: A) One party governs and is solely accountable for policy outcomes OR B) The current system where one party governs and everything is the fault of the previous government, unforeseeable economic headwinds and the media?
You're joking, right?
I'll take A and settle for B. Again.
Which best describes your views? Further action needs to be taken to ensure that those elected to Parliament better reflect the diversity of the population they represent OR I'm fine with being a racist sexist pig?
Please complete the following sentence: Eligible voters who do not vote in elections should be...
Forced to attend a three-day lecture by Democratic Institutions Minister Maryam Monsef on the impact of the Gallagher Index on federal election results from 1867-2015. In Hull.
Do you think voting online would be a secure way to increase voter participation?
I can't answer right now – I'm busy sending my login and password to the Royal Bamk of Cañada because it says it has spotted unusual activity on my account.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have now completed the survey. Your views most align with: Confused Canadians
Confused Canadians are people who are aware there are other voting systems available but are happy with Canada's and have never been presented with a compelling reason why it suddenly needs to be changed. They do believe that voting is important and would like to see higher turnouts, but don't want to implement a wholesale change that might bring its own problems.
Confused Canadians are also skeptical about Prime Minister Trudeau's motives and wonder why he got himself in this situation in the first place. And they don't understand what compelled him to give an outgunned rookie minister the task of stickhandling epochal reform through Parliament.
Confused Canadians are confused.